Adventures in Downtown Joplin

Hey all! Welcome back to my blog!

     The day before I left campus to return home for Christmas break, my friends and I decided to head out on the town and have a photo shoot! I thought for this post I would show you some of my favorites and let you enjoy some of Joplin's downtown beauty and ascetic.

     My friends have such beautiful personalities and it shines out into who they are on the outside as well! I hope you enjoy this picture montage of our adventures downtown!

-Sarah

Reflecting On How Far I've Come

Hey all!

     So much has happened since the last time I wrote. It's been a while since my last post, but I wanted to take some time to focus on schoolwork and building relationships with the people on campus.
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     While I sit here pondering over everything that has happened over the last few months, it's crazy to think that my first semester at Ozark is almost over. It was so amazing and I couldn't be more thankful that God brought me to this school.
     Over the past 3 months God has revealed Himself to me in amazing ways. From entrusting my friendships here to Him, to following where He guides me throughout my journey towards my degree, my faith has been tested and grown during my few months here.
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     One of the first things that I struggled with at college was making friends that I would be able to hang out with all the time. You know those people, the ones you call your squad. Yeah, I was having a difficult time finding myself one of those, and it had been about 2 weeks. At that point people were settling into their normal friend groups and establishing their routines.
     God ended up bringing me into the perfect friend group. It's gotten to the point where I have 1 specific friend that I do everything with, literally unless one of us is unavailable- or sleeping (*cough, Gaby.) She's my best friend. She's crazy, super funny, and a great listener. I love Gaby. She's the best friend I prayed for at school for the longest time, and before I knew it we were super close and having so much fun together.
     What I had begun to notice throughout my first 2 weeks of school was how God would prevail in my times of anxiety and nervousness. I actually ended up skipping a few meals the first 2 weeks because I didn't have anyone to go down to the cafeteria with and sit by, so I stayed in my room and ate a sandwich.
     I finally had a mini pep-talk with myself (I have those all the time, don't judge.) I came to the conclusion that I needed to get my act together and go eat food; food is a major priority for me so I needed to get it somehow. Duh. The one day I finally worked up the courage to go down there for lunch by myself, I ended up finding some awesome people to sit with and now we're all amazing friends.
     There are a few other instances where I felt alone and afraid, but God ended up giving me exactly what I needed and I was blessed by the outcome of the event. After I began to notice a pattern in this case, my courage to step out and be myself while living my own life was built up. I still won't go to a sit-down restaurant by myself, (but then again, I never have and I don't plan to!) but God has given me an amount of strength and confidence I've never had before.

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     When I was moving to Missouri I told myself I would not let myself get swept away in assignments and procrastinate, resulting in late nights and sleep deprivation. By the grace of God I have been able to stay on top of my reading, exams, and even papers throughout the entire semester. I never got swept away a single time and, while I did receive a test grade that crushed my self-esteem for a few weeks, I was able to refocus my purpose and goals in being at Ozark.
     Before I knew it, I was back to trucking along in my work and I am pleased to say that as of right now, a few days before finals, I have all A's with the exception of one B- (the class I failed a test in.) It's crazy to think of how worried I was about handling college classes, but in all honesty, when your priorities are set in the right places and you apply yourself, you can do great things. I have only stayed up past 12:30am two times this semester, and it was on the weekends talking with my friends. Otherwise I have been able to get into my dorm and head to bed anywhere from 9:30-11pm every night. Then on school mornings I'm waking up anywhere from 6:30am-7:15am, depending on whether I have an 8:00am class that morning or not.
     I may or may not be teased from time to time about going to sleep so early (early from the view of a college student) and have been nicknamed the grandma. It's alright, I laugh every time. One of my friends has decided I am the example of a perfect college student: gets assignments turned in early/on time, goes to bed on time and gets normal hours of sleep, has a social life, isn't stressed about homework, runs a youtube channel and writes a blog. . . At first I was honored that she would say that to me. Now, it's honestly annoying and she's started saying it just to push my buttons. Our friendship is great.
     Time managing is something I had been setting my mind on all Summer, so to be able to know I am halfway through my second year of college with this kind of progress and discipline, I am feeling very confident about the next 2 1/2 years of school before I receive my bachelors. Then onto my masters, but let's not talk about that quite yet.
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     I'm not saying this to brag or to try and make myself seem all put together. Gosh, no. In all honesty, I've had some hard days at school. God has definitely stretched me, and he's tested me in ways I didn't think I could handle at times.
     Not knowing anyone other than my friend Aaron was super rough, especially because I would only see him once a week in passing. This meant I felt pretty alone for a while. I am alright with being on my own, but anyone who knows me well knows I have a difficult time going places or doing things without someone to go with. That was a stretching point for me, and I needed to learn to put myself out there.
     Another way I've seen God stretching me this semester is by remembering there is another world I'm a part of back home, and I can't forget about it. Balancing living in Missouri, while everything I have is back in Iowa can be a challenge. Purposefully staying in contact with friends back in Iowa (and 1 in Nicaragua) to maintain those friendships is harder than you would think. It takes intentionality and commitment to keep up with it all. In addition to that, knowing I have 2 younger siblings at home, who I miss more than I thought I ever would, is so hard when you know they're going through tough times and when exciting things happen in their lives. I'm incredibly thankful for FaceTime and phone calls to stay in touch with them. It's been amazing to see them grow and mature over the past 4 months that I have lived so far away.
     Probably one of the biggest ways I've seen God grow me over the past few months is through making friendships that require me to be transparent and open about my life and what I struggle with. When you've got 20 girls on a single floor of a dorm, there will be drama and there will be some days when tears are shed. I've been blessed with an amazing floor that doesn't have much drama or arguing. It's honestly amazing and Alumni 3rd is my second home, truly. However, there are days I miss friends, or I'm having to make some tough choices (either for myself or for others) that break me apart.
     There was something that came up about a month ago, and it tore my heart into pieces. I discovered something about someone I'm very close with that I didn't want to deal with, but after talking with adults, close friends here, and my family, it was made known to me that it had gotten very serious and actions needed to be taken. 
     I obviously won't explain the situation, but when this all occurred, I was sitting at the end of my hall in the chair by the window on the phone with my Mom. My roommate walked into the hall and saw me on the phone with tears in my eyes. Then Gaby, my best friend walked over and saw me crying too. Both of them weren't sure what to think since they had never seen me cry before. It honestly took them by surprise. Gaby didn't even think they were tears at first.
     This was 3 1/2 months into school, and they hadn't seen me cry unless I was laughing super hard. They hadn't seen me cry because I hadn't cried since being at school. When I say I've been blessed with an amazing community and life here, I mean it. So when this all happened, while I had amazing friends and adults to go to, it was a very difficult step for me to be open and honest about what I was dealing with and show emotions besides joy and laughter.
     Overall, taking the step to let myself be vulnerable and emotional with my friends was a great help for me. To let them know I was feeling sorrow was healing. I've always struggled to show negative emotions, especially sadness. When I expressed that side of myself with them our friendships grew even closer.
     The last way I've seen God grow me has been in the last few weeks. I've recently learned that I was selected from auditions to play acoustic guitar and sing on a chapel worship team next semester at school. I'm incredibly excited, but I'm also incredibly nervous. While I've played guitar for 5 years now, and I've been singing publicly since I was little, knowing I am on a team of multiple other students leading worship on our own is a little intimidating. I am going to need to apply myself to my practicing and to increasing in my guitar skills the entire semester. It will take lots of work, but I am excited to see the growth by next Summer.
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     As I sit here and think about everything that's happened the past 4 months I've lived in Missouri, I wouldn't change a thing. I know I am where I'm supposed to be, and I know that I am studying in the area God has called me to.
     If you're on the fence about where to go after high school graduation, take it to God. Just know that He will use you wherever you go, and He will show you the way when you give it to Him.
     A year and a half ago I was confident that I was going to skip going to a 4 year college and take the easy way out by attending cosmetology school close to home so I could graduate quickly and have a job right away. It took helping my older sister get ready for her wedding for me to quickly realize that this was not where I was called.
     At that point I was clueless about what to do. I wasn't going to go to college, guys. I was honestly planning on staying home and finding a job somewhere. I didn't want to move, and for years I had been ignoring God tugging on my heart to go into the counseling ministry.
     Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while will know the next part of the story. . .
     I suffered from depression for a few years during this time, and had I stayed home and not gone to college I would be a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual mess. My fear of stepping out and following where I felt called would have kept me from all the wonder of God I've experienced since August.
     Following God's call was one of the hardest things I've done, and I will tell you that it was 100% worth it. When people ask how I ended up at Ozark I am able to share my testimony with them and show them how God provided for me in a time of complete darkness and confusion.
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     I did not want to go to a Bible college, and I did not want to go into the ministry field. I also didn't want to go far away. Look at me now:

•      I am attending a small Bible college with less than 1,000 students.
• I am entering the ministry field as a clinical counselor to help families who have endured difficulties, and to counsel young women who went through what I suffered for so long.
• I am attending college in another state, almost 6 hours away from home.

     It was a major adjustment and a huge step in coming to Ozark, but the 300+ miles I travel to go home is nothing compared to how far God has brought me the last 4 months.

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 

Sarah

Make Time- It's Worth It

Hey all! Welcome back to my blog!

     2 nights ago I started a new devotional that I picked up a few weeks before moving to Missouri and finally decided it was time to begin a nightly devotional routine.
     I grabbed my mug of Sunny D, my amazing, red paper-mate marker, my study Bible, the devotional book and hopped into my bed after turning on my hanging lights.
     It took me months before I finally gave in and decided to write in my all time favorite journal that I've ever owned. It is pretty large and I love how it looks. So once I began and had it laying in front of me, open, I was pretty intimidated. I wanted my handwriting to be perfect and to make it look super organized and well done. Then I realized I was about to spend my entire quiet time stressing about if my handwriting was neat enough. When I finally realized how silly that was I just began to write down my thoughts and points from the book I wanted to remember. When I finished I looked back and realized that while my handwriting looked nice, I was just happy to be using the journal for something as special as this study.
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     This devotional for women that I picked it up called Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be by Donna Partow. I have only done 2 days out of it so far but they are so amazing and so much better than any devotional I have done before (and I've tried so many.)
     What each of these devotionals have included is some scripture to memorize, a passage to read that pertains to the "lesson," and then a guided prayer as well as a page or 2 worth of a story, lesson, and sometimes exercises that help you to figure out how to include this into your daily life.
     The overall goal of the book itself is to help you live a life more like the Probers 31 woman talked about in the Bible. I have always wondered how anyone would live a life like that in today's society, and this book (and only 2 days in) has already shown me many things that have opened my eyes and made me think hard about areas of my life I need to change.
     What I love so much about these devotionals is how in depth they are, but also how easy they are to read. I look forward to these every night and they bring such peace to my night before I go to sleep.
     I've also continued to do by First5 devotionals in the morning before I go to class, just to start my day off right before I get swept away into the craziness that is college life. I keep my Proverbs 31 devotional for at night when everything else is done and I can take my time and focus solely on what I'm reading and taking in. . .

 

     Last night while I was doing my devotions I was listening to loud worship music in my headphones (as I always do) and the songs that kept coming on were SO good. I could barely sit still without wanting to sing along loudly and my roommate and her friend were in our room watching me play the air-drums and they informed me of how adorable I looked. . . haha thanks. . .
     After I stopped blushing and was able to refocus to what I was supposed to be doing (squirrel) I started to absorb the material that I was reading and studying and it hit me. . . Just how far God had brought me on my journey with Him.
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     Throughout my struggle with depression I was incredibly insecure- I was always cutting myself down for everything I could find, I never believed I could do anything extraordinary, and I definitely never saw myself as someone God would use someday. I just finished a conversation with a few new friends here at school who heard my testimony and were pointing out to me how God used me in so many crazy awesome ways when I didn't even feel like getting out of bed.
     As I was reading through my notes I read things that reminded me of who I see myself as now versus who I saw myself as a year and a half ago:

Day 1

• Noble: To be dignified and gracious (amplified Bible: capable, intelligent, and virtuous)
• God wants us to stand out as women who know we have something valuable to offer the world
• Enjoy the inner satisfaction that comes from becoming the woman God wants you to be

Day 2

• Even though Jesus is the divine Son of God, he still took time to pray to God
• I need to take time to refocus my life mission and set my agenda for the day after my time along with God
• "Discipline is the human effort to create the space in which God can be generous and give us what we need." -Henri Nouwen
• The Proverbs 31 woman's husband has full confidence in her because she has full confidence in God
• Confidence in a relationship (even one with God) comes from investing time and effort
• If we want to have something valuable to offer the world, we must first have something of value to offer
• If you want to be an inspiration to everyone you meet, meet with God first
• You have important stuff to meet with God about, so get the conference room ready
• "I have yet to find a respected spiritual leader who had devotions at night." -Bruce Wilkinson
• Morning devotions set the agenda, and the tone, for the rest of the day

     As I was reading through those notes I remembered when I viewed myself as an annoying, useless person just living life in whatever ways I absolutely had to. . . Now I view myself as a valuable, precious person God has personally chosen to be on this earth and I have a purpose to fulfill with the story He has given me.

     My story has already touched so many lives, and my music has encouraged so many people already I am truly humbled.

     Things that seem minor to me are major to others. Just today when I gave my testimony to a group of new friends, I shared a past struggle not many people know I dealt with for so long. I didn't think anything of it, it's just part of my story and I shared it as part of the story of redemption God has done in my life. Within 15 minutes someone I shared my testimony with caught me alone and said they struggled with the same thing. . . Wow, God. Amen. Thats all I have to say to that.

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     All I can say at this point is how important it is to have a refocus point of your day- if possible it should be your morning- where you can prepare your heart and your mind to go out in the world and do what God needs you to get done that day. Quiet time is not a checklist thing to get done and move along with. If you want something amazing to come out of your relationship with God then you need to be putting something amazing into it. That's it. When you truly love someone/something you want to spend all your time with them. I honestly don't care if you say you love God more than anything or anyone else. . . If your life isn't showing you prioritize God than your words are empty and worthless. It's the sad but hard truth.

     What I have found from starting my day off with devotions (even though I wake up 30 minutes earlier, haha sorry roommate) I am able to spend time sitting at my table quietly soaking in the worship music playing through my headphones, absorbing the words I read, and memorizing the scripture and points I write down into my journal. I eat breakfast and sit wrapped in my fuzzy blanket for a solid 30 minutes (just about) every morning and I gain so much from that.

     When I leave my dorm I am awake and alert, fueled with the Holy Spirit, and my attitude is focused on God and His love. How can I have a bad morning with all that?

     So seriously, guys. It's worth getting up earlier and sacrificing a few minutes of extra sleep to have a day full of God and go throughout your day feeling refreshed. For real, those extra 30 minutes will not help in the long run. You will still wake up mad at your alarm.

     Oh ya, and that's something else. . . When you wake up, I challenge you to sit there in bed for a few moments looking up in gratitude and simply thank God for some things that come to mind and say a quick prayer for the day before getting out of bed. and for goodness sakes, smile. It'll change your entire day. Don't let the negativity get to you, it only makes it 10x worse.

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     All in all, invest in your relationship with God and you will begin to see the results change your life in crazy ways.

"Set a fire down in my soul that I can't contain, that I can't control. I want more of you, God."

-Set A Fire by JesusCulture

Sarah

When You're At Your Weakest

Hey all! Welcome back to my blog!

     College has been pretty good so far- I've enjoyed the food, Missouri is absolutely beautiful, and the classes have been interesting and not overwhelmingly difficult as of yet.
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     If there is one thing I had to choose I didn't like about where I'm at right now it would be how far away I am from my hometown. I feel out of place and strange. Don't get me wrong, I love it here! I just wish I wasn't so far from everyone I know and everything that I love to do. Its like the feeling of homesickness, but more like an "I can't do any of the things or hug the people that have made me feel better in the past" sickness.
     I've never been homesick before, and I've also never been gone from my hometown for longer than 2 weeks at a time. That is a strange feeling when you look at your countdown board and realize (minus the days you've been at college already) you've got 40 days till you go home for the first time. . . Yikes! I'm super excited to go home and visit all the places I love, eat tacos from my favorite Mexican restaurant, and give hugs to my favorite people and never letting go (on top of hugging my puppy and not being able to move because she loves me so much.)
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     This morning when I woke up I just felt ready to quit. I wasn't stressed from homework, I wasn't missing home, and I wasn't tired from lack of sleep (I've kept my normal sleeping hours since coming here.) I felt weird all morning until after I ate lunch, then it hit me. I hadn't done anything fun for myself since moving. I had either been doing homework, spending time with the girls on my floor, or chilling in my room doing whatever. . . But I hadn't actually gone somewhere to decompress, gather my thoughts, focus on Jesus, and get back in tune with myself. So that's exactly what I did all afternoon. 

     I went down to my car, grabbed my GPS, plugged in my Spotify playlists (I started with my country playlist first- duh), and I took off down a random direction away from campus.

     I probably drove for close to 40 minutes before turning the GPS on, telling me how to get back. Missouri has so many beautiful roads. So many of them almost feel like you're driving under an arch made of tree trunks. Fields are everywhere (but unlike Iowa, its not corn fields.) There are tons of horse barns, hay fields, and beautiful hills to drive around in. The best part is that it only takes 5 minutes to get outside of downtown before you're cruising down, around, and over awesome Missouri roads.

     After spending just over an hour driving around, I remembered I had packed my hammock in my backpack (just incase I found a cool spot.) So once I got back to campus I parked my car at the dorm, grabbed my backpack from my car (with books, food- haha duh- my water bottle, and hammock in it) and I took off down towards this beautiful grove of trees at the edge of the property. There are tons of different sized trees right next to a small creek with super clear water and cool rocks surrounding it.

     There were a few other people already laying in hammocks down there, so I ventured on down towards the creek and set up my hammock between 2 trees right next to the water and just inside the shady section.

     I laid there from 2:00-4:00 without difficulty. I finished "reading" (by reading I mean I skimmed it enough to know what to write about and understand the material) a book for one of my classes, and I enjoyed some quiet music from my phone.

     After "finishing" my book I laid there for a few minutes with my eyes closed. It was nice. Normally I'd hate being by myself for that long, especially going somewhere without someone with me. This was one thing I wanted to get better at while at school and today was a successful first attempt at being okay out on my own.

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     When I got back to my dorm room I grabbed a bunch of strawberries and a mug full of Sunny D and sat down to write this post.

     All in all, I feel better for taking the afternoon off for self care. I didn't need to spend money and I didn't need to go anywhere exotic. I drove down country roads and laid in a parachute for a few hours with homework. . . If I can find a way to relax at college like this, I'm sure everyone else can too.

Psalms 119:50

"This is my comfort in my affliction; that your promise gives me life."

Sarah

You Know Those Days When. . .

Hey all! Welcome back to my blog!

     Incase somehow among all my many posts and pictures on social media you missing the announcement, I now live in Missouri! It's crazy to think about, but I live in a totally different state 6 hours away from my family and friends.
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     It took me till the next morning to finally begin to settle in a little bit, but after I woke up and got to the cafeteria, it started to feel easier to take in.
     When I moved in I wasn't necessarily overwhelmed, I just felt overwhelmingly tired and events kept happening.
     That evening we met in the lobby of our dorm to get to know our RA's and dorm mom (Mama Judy.) After an hour of chilling with everyone we split of into our life groups.
     Life groups are basically a small group each student is placed into to spend the semester (or year, not sure) with and get to know on a deeper level and have fun with and check in with each other. We went to my life group leader's house and we enjoyed a fire with s'mores in Missouri's fine 90 degree weather!
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     I've been here since August 18th and I really love it! I do miss all my friends back home, especially those I'm so used to seeing multiple times a week. I've even started a countdown till I can come back and see them all again!
     I'm making some great friends, but I'm also still struggling to find those people I can go to to confide in (that will come with time.)
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     So far my homework has been manageable and I have been able to stay on top of everything and be done in a good period of time. I am in 5 classes and I am also in choir.
     This semester the choir will be performing in chapel a few times so we are working on different worship arrangements  but not your typical worship music. One song we have so far is the old version of O Happy Day with all the fun harmonies! It's a small choir- maybe about 15-20 guys and gals, but so far we've been having some fun.
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     Let me tell you, I don't need to exercise after climbing over 50 steps each day! Anytime I go down to the cafeteria or the gym/chapel I have to climb a fine amount of cement steps. If I come home and don't have super muscular legs than I did something wrong. They aren't as bad as I thought, and I enjoy pushing myself to run up them when I get the chance. . . Sometimes I skip the stairs and dart up the hill beside them for a better calf workout. Fun facts from Sarah.
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     If I did pick anything to say that I have really enjoyed about communal bathrooms that I didn't expect to was: when you go in to take a shower and 2 people are already having a conversation about the weirdest things, they don't hear you walk in and get in the shower, and they continue to talk about really strange things while you're right beside them. It's no big deal. The best part is when you get out and they see you've been there the entire time and burst out laughing. I suppose college has given me ninja skills!
     My bedroom also happens to be right across from the bathroom and the water fountain. While this is incredibly convenient, it is also entertaining for when the girls have funny conversations, water fights, and are on sugar highs at midnight. I don't need to leave my dorm to be in on the action- all I have to do is open my door and take out an earbud. BOOM. It's like I'm in there with them without leaving my bed.
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     Yesterday afternoon a group of us were able to travel a few minutes out of downtown and go to a small waterfall and stream in the country. Everyone refers to it as the Falls. It was absolutely breathtaking and I can't wait to go back and go swimming! I'll post some picture in another blog post I have coming in the near future so stay tuned!
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     As far as things I've learned in my spiritual life, God has spoken to me in so many ways I can hardly believe. It warms my heart when I'm at lunch or studying with a group of friends and they all have the same passion for Jesus that I do. When the chapel services include more genuine worship than many of the mega churches back home, my heart is happy.
     There are certain areas of my life where I am praying for guidance in how to handle things, one area in particular, and as I've been praying and listening for what to do, the word patience keeps being brought to mind. . . The funny thing is, if there's one area of my life I struggle the most (besides knowing when to stop talking) it's patience.
     It's not that I want everything right now, it's not knowing when I will find an answer or receive when I am waiting for. So in short, I struggle with the unknown that comes with patience. You know those days when God assures you that things will go a certain way, you just don't know when He will fulfill that plan? Yeah, that's how I feel right now. . . I've been waiting and praying faithfully for about 2 months now, and I know He's going to come thru for me, I just need to wait and trust Him for the timing.
     In the meantime I'll focus on Him more than anything else, work on trusting Him when my flesh wants to take matters into my own hand and choose my own timing, and reflect on how my life as a follower of Jesus is being show in my day-to-day life.
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     I guess you could say things have sort of clicked for me in college. I don't mind being in another state away from family, and I don't mind making all my own choices or relying on myself and God for most everything.
     I spent the last year of my life seeking God beyond all else and learning to love Him when everything else is falling apart. I'm still waiting to write out my entire testimony (I'm thinking I'll wait till I have to write it out for a class so it's organized and I haven't forgotten anything) or possibly do it video style and post the link. I feel like my testimony has been such a powerful reminder to myself of how God works for the good of His children, those who seek His will and trust Him, and how He takes those who are at their worst and turns them from rocks into rubies.
     After a year like I had, I'd come to realize God was preparing me for the life I would have here in Missouri. One of the girls on my floor and I have already had a heart-to-heart with part of our stories, and the empathy and closeness of understanding each other was beautiful. I knew my life the past few years was harder and more challenging than I ever wish upon anyone else, but I wouldn't change what I went through for anything. I am not the same young woman I was 4 years ago and I owe all that to God and His plan.
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     To sum everything up that I just said before I end this post:

• I moved to Missouri for school
• My leg muscles are gonna be super awesome
• Communal bathrooms are entertaining and I enjoy them
• Waterfalls are so peaceful but also so powerful
• God has spoken to me in new, more powerful ways
• I am working on patience and waiting on God's timing

Just kidding. I forgot one- PSYCH!

• I went to a beginner's swing dance class tonight and I was oddly entertained at how awkward I can be with footwork, but I also laughed a lot at myself and discovered that swing dancing is super fun and I want to do it again.

Alright, thanks for sticking with me this long!

     

     I miss ya'll (no, Missouri didn't make me say that, I did it before I moved haha) and I hope to hear from you soon as I continue on with blog posts!

     Feel free to message me on Facebook  comment below, or shoot me a text or phone call to chat!

     "Where God Guides, He Provides."

Sarah

Feeling Low? Have You Tried ____?

Hey all! Welcome back to my blog!

     It's been a little while, but so much has happened!
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     A few Sundays ago I sang with the worship team for the last time before I leave for school. I didn't realize it'd be my last time until I went to give my availability for the next month and I realized that I'd be gone every time between then and when I leave! It was a sad realization, but I was able to look ahead to when I'd be home for break to sing and play with them.
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     One weekend in June our church was able to host the African Children's Choir for a Sunday evening concert and it was A-mazing! So many people came out and it was a beautiful and energetic concert. I was able to buy one of their shirts and I love sporting it for others to see and ask about. The energy those kids displayed and the love they clearly had for Jesus was emotional and real. It's a concert I will not forget about.
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     This past weekend I traveled down to Joplin, Missouri for orientation before school starts on the 18th. I was able to travel down with some family friends whose son is going to Ozark too. That made the trip go a lot faster and made it more fun.
     Orientation was great and I met lots of amazing people! Obviously there were many nervous students there that day so it was hard for me to find many people to talk to, but I'm sure once school starts it'll get better.
     I got signed up for classes over the weekend and I'm excited for that! I'm going to have a few specific Bible classes studying specific areas of the Bible, a class on personal evangelism and the best ways to bring up my faith with friends, coworkers, and how to grow in my own faith, as well as a class on the history of Ancient Israel. Another class I'll be taking is a class on the principles of christian discipleship and education. I'm not entirely sure what all this class will entail, but from what I gathered from my admissions counselor I met with is that it'll focus mainly on how we as Christians can grow in our faith and understand more specific parts of Christianity.
     As a Psychology major, this last class I signed up for will definitely be my favorite! I'm taking a class called Healthy Relationships. This class will cover the different issues and ways to resolve boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, friendships, marriages, and our relationship with God etc. It'll also cover how they work and different ways to strengthen these relationships. I'm super excited to take this class!
     I also joined the choir, so that'll be a good experience for me. I'm excited for that because their choir tours around to different places to perform! Touring around with a group is something I've always hoped to do in college and now is my chance to do so!
     I also found out who my roommate for college is and she seems very nice! We haven't met in person yet, but we've been able to text a little bit to get to know each other. She is also pretty involved with music!
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     Throughout all of this happening over the past few weeks I've been so busy I wasn't making the time for my quiet time like I should have been. . . I've noticed my anxiety coming on more often lately and I've been more easily depressed and saddened than usual. One of my best friends has been a great listener and he's given me some advice and listened when I needed to spill out lots of thoughts.
     The past few nights I've been up late in bed not being able to sleep with lots of things running through my head. One of the things that came to mind was how discontent I've been with life over the past few weeks/month. I ended up putting two and two together: feeling down and putting my quiet time on the back burner came hand in hand. . . When I realized how much I had been putting my quiet time and deepening my faith on the side so much made sense.
     Just because I'm going to a conservative mission/Bible based college does not mean I don't need to continue working on my own personal faith. I shouldn't ever stop!
     Jordan Lee Dooley has a website called SoulScripts and she has this organization for $7 a month where women across the world can come together and watch her Bible Study tutorial videos, read blog posts, download online devotionals, and visit with other women either in the area or across the world! I felt a tug on my heart after reading the testimony of one of the women who joined a few years ago, ad I decided to sign up! After signing up I sort of forgot about it all and didn't do too much on there. . . That is until I started feeling down about myself and more depressed than normal.
     Since I've started back up getting into a routine of spending more personal time with God and focusing on Him daily in prayer and meditation I've noticed my mood change and my anxiety resolve.
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     For the longest time I had really enjoyed any Bible studies I was involved in, any devotionals I'd been reading, and different faith-related youtubers I'd found recently. Once things got busy, however, I found myself falling away from the things that had kept my focus and I began to feel low and incomplete.
     I was reminded of this: "Once you experience the goodness of Christ you won't be able to live a day without it." That's totally true! I experienced that this past weekend and I'm anxious to begin finding my way back into personal, quiet time with God everyday! I'm praying that God will help me keep focused on following through with it even after I make the transition to college- when I'll need it most!
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    I'd encourage any of you that if you've been feeling down on yourself lately, or feeling as though your life is missing something, think about the last tim you spent time alone with God. . . I'm not saying you should all go read a chapter from the Bible and expect instant gratification and joy- definitely not. What I'm saying is you should spend time with God and figure out the best way you connect with Him. Don't turn your personal time into a daily checklist; turn your personal time with God into something you can't bear to go a day without!

"Such confidence we have through Christ before God."
     -2 Corinthians 3:4

-Sarah