Make Time- It's Worth It

Hey all! Welcome back to my blog!

     2 nights ago I started a new devotional that I picked up a few weeks before moving to Missouri and finally decided it was time to begin a nightly devotional routine.
     I grabbed my mug of Sunny D, my amazing, red paper-mate marker, my study Bible, the devotional book and hopped into my bed after turning on my hanging lights.
     It took me months before I finally gave in and decided to write in my all time favorite journal that I've ever owned. It is pretty large and I love how it looks. So once I began and had it laying in front of me, open, I was pretty intimidated. I wanted my handwriting to be perfect and to make it look super organized and well done. Then I realized I was about to spend my entire quiet time stressing about if my handwriting was neat enough. When I finally realized how silly that was I just began to write down my thoughts and points from the book I wanted to remember. When I finished I looked back and realized that while my handwriting looked nice, I was just happy to be using the journal for something as special as this study.
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     This devotional for women that I picked it up called Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be by Donna Partow. I have only done 2 days out of it so far but they are so amazing and so much better than any devotional I have done before (and I've tried so many.)
     What each of these devotionals have included is some scripture to memorize, a passage to read that pertains to the "lesson," and then a guided prayer as well as a page or 2 worth of a story, lesson, and sometimes exercises that help you to figure out how to include this into your daily life.
     The overall goal of the book itself is to help you live a life more like the Probers 31 woman talked about in the Bible. I have always wondered how anyone would live a life like that in today's society, and this book (and only 2 days in) has already shown me many things that have opened my eyes and made me think hard about areas of my life I need to change.
     What I love so much about these devotionals is how in depth they are, but also how easy they are to read. I look forward to these every night and they bring such peace to my night before I go to sleep.
     I've also continued to do by First5 devotionals in the morning before I go to class, just to start my day off right before I get swept away into the craziness that is college life. I keep my Proverbs 31 devotional for at night when everything else is done and I can take my time and focus solely on what I'm reading and taking in. . .

 

     Last night while I was doing my devotions I was listening to loud worship music in my headphones (as I always do) and the songs that kept coming on were SO good. I could barely sit still without wanting to sing along loudly and my roommate and her friend were in our room watching me play the air-drums and they informed me of how adorable I looked. . . haha thanks. . .
     After I stopped blushing and was able to refocus to what I was supposed to be doing (squirrel) I started to absorb the material that I was reading and studying and it hit me. . . Just how far God had brought me on my journey with Him.
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     Throughout my struggle with depression I was incredibly insecure- I was always cutting myself down for everything I could find, I never believed I could do anything extraordinary, and I definitely never saw myself as someone God would use someday. I just finished a conversation with a few new friends here at school who heard my testimony and were pointing out to me how God used me in so many crazy awesome ways when I didn't even feel like getting out of bed.
     As I was reading through my notes I read things that reminded me of who I see myself as now versus who I saw myself as a year and a half ago:

Day 1

• Noble: To be dignified and gracious (amplified Bible: capable, intelligent, and virtuous)
• God wants us to stand out as women who know we have something valuable to offer the world
• Enjoy the inner satisfaction that comes from becoming the woman God wants you to be

Day 2

• Even though Jesus is the divine Son of God, he still took time to pray to God
• I need to take time to refocus my life mission and set my agenda for the day after my time along with God
• "Discipline is the human effort to create the space in which God can be generous and give us what we need." -Henri Nouwen
• The Proverbs 31 woman's husband has full confidence in her because she has full confidence in God
• Confidence in a relationship (even one with God) comes from investing time and effort
• If we want to have something valuable to offer the world, we must first have something of value to offer
• If you want to be an inspiration to everyone you meet, meet with God first
• You have important stuff to meet with God about, so get the conference room ready
• "I have yet to find a respected spiritual leader who had devotions at night." -Bruce Wilkinson
• Morning devotions set the agenda, and the tone, for the rest of the day

     As I was reading through those notes I remembered when I viewed myself as an annoying, useless person just living life in whatever ways I absolutely had to. . . Now I view myself as a valuable, precious person God has personally chosen to be on this earth and I have a purpose to fulfill with the story He has given me.

     My story has already touched so many lives, and my music has encouraged so many people already I am truly humbled.

     Things that seem minor to me are major to others. Just today when I gave my testimony to a group of new friends, I shared a past struggle not many people know I dealt with for so long. I didn't think anything of it, it's just part of my story and I shared it as part of the story of redemption God has done in my life. Within 15 minutes someone I shared my testimony with caught me alone and said they struggled with the same thing. . . Wow, God. Amen. Thats all I have to say to that.

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     All I can say at this point is how important it is to have a refocus point of your day- if possible it should be your morning- where you can prepare your heart and your mind to go out in the world and do what God needs you to get done that day. Quiet time is not a checklist thing to get done and move along with. If you want something amazing to come out of your relationship with God then you need to be putting something amazing into it. That's it. When you truly love someone/something you want to spend all your time with them. I honestly don't care if you say you love God more than anything or anyone else. . . If your life isn't showing you prioritize God than your words are empty and worthless. It's the sad but hard truth.

     What I have found from starting my day off with devotions (even though I wake up 30 minutes earlier, haha sorry roommate) I am able to spend time sitting at my table quietly soaking in the worship music playing through my headphones, absorbing the words I read, and memorizing the scripture and points I write down into my journal. I eat breakfast and sit wrapped in my fuzzy blanket for a solid 30 minutes (just about) every morning and I gain so much from that.

     When I leave my dorm I am awake and alert, fueled with the Holy Spirit, and my attitude is focused on God and His love. How can I have a bad morning with all that?

     So seriously, guys. It's worth getting up earlier and sacrificing a few minutes of extra sleep to have a day full of God and go throughout your day feeling refreshed. For real, those extra 30 minutes will not help in the long run. You will still wake up mad at your alarm.

     Oh ya, and that's something else. . . When you wake up, I challenge you to sit there in bed for a few moments looking up in gratitude and simply thank God for some things that come to mind and say a quick prayer for the day before getting out of bed. and for goodness sakes, smile. It'll change your entire day. Don't let the negativity get to you, it only makes it 10x worse.

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     All in all, invest in your relationship with God and you will begin to see the results change your life in crazy ways.

"Set a fire down in my soul that I can't contain, that I can't control. I want more of you, God."

-Set A Fire by JesusCulture

Sarah

When You're At Your Weakest

Hey all! Welcome back to my blog!

     College has been pretty good so far- I've enjoyed the food, Missouri is absolutely beautiful, and the classes have been interesting and not overwhelmingly difficult as of yet.
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     If there is one thing I had to choose I didn't like about where I'm at right now it would be how far away I am from my hometown. I feel out of place and strange. Don't get me wrong, I love it here! I just wish I wasn't so far from everyone I know and everything that I love to do. Its like the feeling of homesickness, but more like an "I can't do any of the things or hug the people that have made me feel better in the past" sickness.
     I've never been homesick before, and I've also never been gone from my hometown for longer than 2 weeks at a time. That is a strange feeling when you look at your countdown board and realize (minus the days you've been at college already) you've got 40 days till you go home for the first time. . . Yikes! I'm super excited to go home and visit all the places I love, eat tacos from my favorite Mexican restaurant, and give hugs to my favorite people and never letting go (on top of hugging my puppy and not being able to move because she loves me so much.)
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     This morning when I woke up I just felt ready to quit. I wasn't stressed from homework, I wasn't missing home, and I wasn't tired from lack of sleep (I've kept my normal sleeping hours since coming here.) I felt weird all morning until after I ate lunch, then it hit me. I hadn't done anything fun for myself since moving. I had either been doing homework, spending time with the girls on my floor, or chilling in my room doing whatever. . . But I hadn't actually gone somewhere to decompress, gather my thoughts, focus on Jesus, and get back in tune with myself. So that's exactly what I did all afternoon. 

     I went down to my car, grabbed my GPS, plugged in my Spotify playlists (I started with my country playlist first- duh), and I took off down a random direction away from campus.

     I probably drove for close to 40 minutes before turning the GPS on, telling me how to get back. Missouri has so many beautiful roads. So many of them almost feel like you're driving under an arch made of tree trunks. Fields are everywhere (but unlike Iowa, its not corn fields.) There are tons of horse barns, hay fields, and beautiful hills to drive around in. The best part is that it only takes 5 minutes to get outside of downtown before you're cruising down, around, and over awesome Missouri roads.

     After spending just over an hour driving around, I remembered I had packed my hammock in my backpack (just incase I found a cool spot.) So once I got back to campus I parked my car at the dorm, grabbed my backpack from my car (with books, food- haha duh- my water bottle, and hammock in it) and I took off down towards this beautiful grove of trees at the edge of the property. There are tons of different sized trees right next to a small creek with super clear water and cool rocks surrounding it.

     There were a few other people already laying in hammocks down there, so I ventured on down towards the creek and set up my hammock between 2 trees right next to the water and just inside the shady section.

     I laid there from 2:00-4:00 without difficulty. I finished "reading" (by reading I mean I skimmed it enough to know what to write about and understand the material) a book for one of my classes, and I enjoyed some quiet music from my phone.

     After "finishing" my book I laid there for a few minutes with my eyes closed. It was nice. Normally I'd hate being by myself for that long, especially going somewhere without someone with me. This was one thing I wanted to get better at while at school and today was a successful first attempt at being okay out on my own.

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     When I got back to my dorm room I grabbed a bunch of strawberries and a mug full of Sunny D and sat down to write this post.

     All in all, I feel better for taking the afternoon off for self care. I didn't need to spend money and I didn't need to go anywhere exotic. I drove down country roads and laid in a parachute for a few hours with homework. . . If I can find a way to relax at college like this, I'm sure everyone else can too.

Psalms 119:50

"This is my comfort in my affliction; that your promise gives me life."

Sarah