I'm Not Even Sure I'll Post This

Hey guys! Welcome back to my little world.

     I just got home from work, and I'm not really sure what to do with myself tonight, so I decided to pull out my laptop and write away. Who knows if I'll even post this- I just wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere.

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     First, I have some pictures from Winter Jam to share! As I said in my second to last post, I was determined to get a selfie with Sadie Robertson. While my little sister and her friend actually had the chance to stand in line and take a proper selfie with Sadie... This was mine. Genuine, I know.

     She may not have even realized I took a picture with her, but that's not what matters. My friend and I did the same with Colton Dixon, except we were closer and it turned out better.

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     One reason I love the Winter Jam concert so much is because of my passion for music.

     I've been singing since I was a little kid, and I've been performing for people and crowds since I was in elementary school. Over time the love for music began to grow as the pressure to do music everyone else's way disappeared.

     I no longer sing Christmas carols for the elderly with my grandma accompanying me on the piano at Christmas time. I no longer have to sing classical songs with my homeschool choir. I no longer have to put on little "shows" for my family when we have get-togethers at my house. And I no longer have to play music with people I thought were good friends, just to have someone to play along with. . .

     Now I can have worship sessions in my room alone, in my car driving, and wherever I go with my headphones. When I perform I am not trying to seek acceptance or fame/popularity. I want to share my love of music and lead people to a place of pure worship and awe at God's grace and love.

     People don't "force" me to play anymore, or beg me to sing a tune for them when I try to hide with my music. Maybe that's because they know that 1) it's really not going to happen, and 2) my music is 100 times better when it's something I am doing because I want to, not something that I've been asked to do. I'm not sure why I'm that way- most people may feel more comfortable when they know people love to hear them sing, or when someone asks them to sing a song for them. I'm the opposite. I'd rather ask to play or sing and have someone excitedly accept.

     Once I was able to quit piano lessons after 7+ years of lessons with my grandma, I took off on guitar faster than I dreamed. One of my best friends taught me 4 guitar chords, and the next time they saw me I was playing the strumming pattern to Newsboy's "Like A Lion". I began to play guitar all the time, and soon after (approx. 3 years ago) I bought my first guitar, a beautiful Taylor. During this time I'd started my first youtube channel, and I continued to grow in my love of music. I even wrote some original songs.

     That same friend and I ended up recording one of my songs and it played on the radio twice. We're a little overdue for a new song haha

     That experience was awesome. Not long after that we actually ended up performing it at an Original Works Night at a church where we live. Performing brings me joy. I love it so much. I'm not nervous, and in no snobbish way at all, I love to hear what I sound like over the speakers. I get so excited over a good mix of sound.

     My absolute favorite thing about performing? When I'm able to lead a session of worship and the audience is visibly being moved by the Holy Spirit.

     4 guitars, a cajon, and a keyboard later, I'm taking baby steps of living out my dream of making music and sharing it with the world. When I was in my early years of high school I'd argue with my mom about college, because I just wanted to become an artist and tour the world. I kid you not- I thought it was realistic to not go to college and suddenly be a famous singer.

      Nope.

     But now I'd be more than happy just leading worship at local churches and watching the Spirit move in their lives.

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     That brings me back to my love for Winter Jam. I know it sounds crazy, and a little unrealistic, but I've wanted to perform live for the Winter Jam Tour since the first time I went 5 years ago. I can't shut the dream off. It's like it's a part of me.

     When I'm at these concerts I get this feeling inside that's unlike any other: pure passion.

     Passion Conference. That's another journey I'd love to be a part of, but let's save that for another time.

     I have a passion to reach people and watch them be touched by the Holy Spirit through song. It was during a time of worship I recommitted my life to Christ last summer. It's during times of worship when I feel at peace and in awe of God. It's during personal worship evenings I have with myself that I can be brought to tears by Jesus' love.

     I keep seeing pictures with captions like:

• Use the gifts God gives you
• Don't hide the talents God grants you- share them
• God gave you talents so you could share them with others

     I don't think these pictures decided to randomly start appearing over the past few weeks. As I think about sitting down on an empty afternoon, praying for guidance, and allowing Christ to speak through my lyrics, I always seem to run into photos or posts like that. Coincidence? I think not.

     God's guidance is awe-striking to me. Sometimes things are so crystal clear, and other times I have a hard time telling the difference between the Spirit moving in me or being overly hungry (which is uncommon for me- I'm almost always eating something. . .)

     I keep telling people that I will perform live at Winter Jam someday because there is nothing telling me not to chase that dream. What are the point of passions if we aren't going to do anything with them? God gives us passions for a reason- use them for His glory!

"Give me one pure and holy passion. Give me one magnificent obsession. Give me one glorious ambition for my life: to know and follow hard after You."

-One Pure and Holy Passion

https://youtu.be/I17edLkBDCo

Sarah

Well, He Did It Again!

Welcome back to my blog!
     
     I have an awesome God story to share with you all this evening, hence the title of this post!
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     Over the weekend I discovered a really neat page on Pinterest. Its called "Her Binder Project". They have the coolest devotional pages to download for free and print off to store in a cute 3 ring binder. I've been wanting a super cute devotional that different from all the rest, and this is absolutely perfect! I downloaded the free 1 week set, and I can keep printing them off if I want more.
     I won't go too much into detail with these devotional pages, but just incase you're curious, they are different for each day, and the ones I've seen will have blocks to fill in, places to write goals for the week, scripture to meditate on, and each page is absolutely beautiful! It makes me so excited to get up and start my day! Knowing I'm going to need at least 15 extra minutes to be able to slow down and focus on this in the morning wasn't too upsetting with me, because I was so excited to begin. I already enjoy waking up at least an hour 1/2 to 2 hours before I need to leave or do anything, because then I have time to wake up, eat a good breakfast, (-one of my goals for 2017- stay tuned for an upcoming post with my goals for 2017, and how I plan to accomplish them) take time to get ready and invest in myself, and spend time in my devotions.
     I've mentioned before my devotional I do before bed, (my nice and quick "Prayers For A Teenager" or something like that-- Well, I like being able to end my day with a little taste of God, but I also wanted something more my style and easy to enjoy for my morning devotions. . . That's when I discovered "Her Binder Project." and I absolutely love their material!! I found an adorable purple binder to put my pages in, and let me tell you, I've never been so excited to wake up and make sure I had enough time to work on my devotions as I was this morning. That's such a refreshing feeling!
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     You may be wondering how the story of my cute devotional discovery is a God story. Allow me to explain:
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     In the past I've absolutely dreaded going to bed, because I suffered from insomnia and never knew when I'd be able to finally close the door on the day. Because of my loss of sleep I'd often be tired and grouchy in the morning. Over the past few months I've found falling asleep a bit easier, and getting up is usually refreshing, because I'm always ready to tackle another day. However, I'm not always excited to do devotions, especially in the morning. That would be why I've been doing my simple prayer devotionals at night right before shutting my lamp off and turning over to sleep.
     I found these devotionals on Thursday evening, and I wanted to wait until the first day of the week (according to the layout in the devotional pages) to begin my journey of devotions through this group. It was so hard not to cheat and begin right away!!!
     I found myself thinking: "I sure wish all Christians were waking up in the morning that excited to serve Christ, spend time with Him, and learn more about Him through prayer and a personal time of devotions."
     I really do wish that- So I got to thinking about ways I could make my mornings better and more focused on Christ. I know 100% that God will refuel me whenever I pour out into Him. One of these ways to "better my mornings" was through finding a devotional I'd be excited to wake up and spend time on.
     As I was getting ready this morning I sped through everything to ensure I had time to truly enjoy my time with God. As I was going through my first page there was a portion that read: "what is a quality of God you are going to focus on today?" I wrote down how I wanted to focus more on God's faithfulness. The next portion asked about a scripture verse to meditate on throughout the day. The "Verse of the Day" on my phone was Psalm 121:1-8. I wrote down the first 2 verses. "I lift up my eyes to the mountains-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth" This is part of the monologue in one of For King and Country's songs.
     As I got to church this morning, one of the song we sang was Great is Thy Faithfulness, and as we sang that song I tried to think about the words-- God knew I'd write down to dwell on His faithfulness, and He planned the worship team to play that song! Throughout the rest of worship, we sang the songs Oceans and Great Are You, Lord. . . Let me tell you- I haven't worshipped like that in months. It was so refreshing to be able to pour out to God in that way.

     That's only part 1 of the God story. . .

     As church ended and I made my way to Sunday School, I sat down and watched a video from the series "gods at war" by Kyle Idleman.
     As I watched this specific episode on the god of power, I began to think about my own life. The man talking in this episode talked about how he needed to be knocked down from his mountain to be able to truly find God and true success. I thought about my own life and how far I came crashing down before I was able to find God on a whole new level.
     God's faithfulness, guys. . . He was guiding my through every session of counseling, every difficult decision I made this past year to better my life, and the strength He gave me to overcome/begin things that needed to happen. He is faithful!
     As I continued to dwell on this past year I was reminded once again how God used every tear that fell from my eyes to change me into the warrior He created me to be.
     Warrior. A word I've used to describe me, personally, over the past few months. "A warrior is that woman who gets up, despite the enemy trying to destroy her. A woman who declares victory before seeing it. A woman who believes she will receive her miracle because she knows the Lord she serves is alive and by her side."
     I got so excited driving away after church, just thinking about God. No one was in the vehicle with me, but I was actually laughing and cheering at how great God was. I asked Him this morning to reveal His faithfulness to me. . . and He came through in greater ways than I could have imagined.
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     Oh snap, guys! He did it again!!! I'm listening to Britt Nicole's new Deluxe Album, and the song "After You" just started playing, and I've got all the feels right now. I've included the link to the song on youtube because this song describes my situation. It's exactly what I needed to hear right now. I can't tell you enough how great God has been to me. I can't believe how amazing today was.

https://youtu.be/6Bk-MAbEiSU

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     To think all of this happened as a result of seeking Jesus first thing in the morning and actively seeking Him throughout the day. Like I've said before: We can't ask God to do great things in our life if we don't change anything about our attitude or location. If I'd written down what I did in my devotional and then just slummed throughout the day rather than looking for God in my life, I would've missed the miracle of discovery.
     God is so good. I encourage you to find a devotional, or some form of Bible study that gives you this feeling of excitement or anticipation in the morning. I love being able to go throughout my day knowing I started on a good note and didn't let anything else steal the time that I spent praising Jesus. . .
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     The last part of my God story from today is this:
     
     I've been stressing out financially, to the point where I feel nervous buying even the smallest items. Thing's add up, friends.
     First, my car totally went out of commission 2 weeks ago, and God placed my Grandma to live with us for a few months at the exact right time. She has 2 vehicles, and I've been able to use her vehicles on and off when I do all my hectic driving. (I named her tiny little red truck "Lil' Red". He's a sexy little beast who gets stuck even on the tiniest hill. His tiny chevy engine is so cute- like a kitten. I'm hopefully getting my car back this week, and it'll be brand new. Silly heat gasket has a mind of its own.
     Second, I was handed a check this evening and I was paid more than I normally would be. I was not expecting that.
     Third, I was given a raise at HyVee a few weeks ago. DEFINITELY not expecting that. And yesterday afternoon one of the bakers told me I would be training a new closing employee in the next few weeks, and she proceeded to tell me I was the best worker they have currently in the bakery and that's why she requested me to train this new employee. She REQUESTED ME!!! I'm not saying this to be cocky or arrogant, but I'd been feeling very down about work and worrying about how I was doing the past little while. That was so cool to hear!
      Finally, I was given a "Thank You" card from a family at our church tonight as well for something a few weeks ago. They sent me a letter tonight with money in it, and I wasn't expecting that either! I just looked at the money and the card and I smiled saying out loud "thank you, God."
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     I can't pay for all of college with the gifts I received tonight, but right now the stress from wondering how I'm going to make ends meet has gone down. Vet bills, unexpected car bills, school tuition, and gas bills can be a weight on my shoulders I don't like to face. But God came through once again. Shame on me for losing total faith in God that He would supply just what I needed when it was more needed.
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     I've got some great posts coming up in the next few weeks, so check back frequently! Also keep an eye on my youtube channel! I'm hoping to start uploading some vlogs I create on my commute to school with different topics, some new covers coming your way, and hopefully some better quality video, too!
     Also, I've never shared my blog specifically to any site or anything. It is public, but recently I've felt God tugging on my heart to take this blog to the next level with sharing what He's doing in my life. If any of you feel led to share a specific post somewhere, you can totally do that!

     ~ What happens on the mountain with God CANNOT stay on the mountain ~

     God wouldn't have me writing all my thoughts and experiences on this blog if He didn't want me to share it with others. . . This is a major fear I have, to open up to certain people and totally share my heart, but God is faithful in guiding me an giving me the strength to take this next step with Him beside me!

"Even when we're in too deep, we're solid like concrete. The heart break is over tonight."

-Concrete by Britt Nicole

Sarah

Snow Days In College?

Hey all! Welcome back to my blog!

     This morning I'm sitting at my kitchen counter working on school and my phone dings, so naturally I check to see what human wants to communicate with me. It was one of the girls from my speech class, and the fact she messaged me made me uber happy, because I think she's great. She informed me that our 2 hour speech class was cancelled due to the snow, and she was rather happy about it. I can't say I wasn't somewhat hoping they'd cancel class today. It's snowing outside, and I commute 28 minutes to school. . . As for my Bible class tonight? Who knows about that one, but for now I'm just enjoying my afternoon at home with my puppy and my homework.
     I'm not sure what it is about homework, but when I know what I'm doing I actually enjoy being able to sit down and accomplish my list of things to do. It's relaxing to me. I'm not the type of person who likes to wait until the last minute. I'd rather work ahead and be able to take my time and have short breaks every 45 minutes or so to rest my eyes and brain, especially with papers.
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     The other day I was at work and I had this absolutely amazing thought come to mind. Of course I forgot it by the time I got off work. Don't you hate that? Then I had another one come to mind later that evening when I got home, but I was in the shower and couldn't write it down. Gahh! How frustrating.
     But of course I had yet another thought come to mind while I was stressing to remember my 2 great thoughts that I had the day before. . .
     Why is it that we always think we'll have more time to accomplish tasks later? Or we'll remember the amazing God-sightings we see around us without telling anyone?
     While I was at work I tried hard to repeat my thought in my head so I'd remember it. I thought about running to the back to write it on my phone, but figured that I'd remember it no matter what because it was such a great thought. . . I could've even written it down quick on a piece of scratch paper and stuck it in my pocket! When I got home and went to go blog about my thought, I remembered how amazing the thought was and what a superb post I would've written with it, but I didn't remember the content itself.
     When I had my second thought I was about to reach for my phone and write it down, but then I got distracted as I went to retrieve it. I was so excited to have another post to blog about, but yet I let something get in my way of accomplishing the task at hand; writing it down so I would remember it.
     Then we have this new thought of mine I'm actually able to blog about: As soon as I had the thought I sat down and began to type right away, because the blog post was important to me. I didn't want to keep letting these great thoughts pass me by. I want to be able to look back and remember them in a few weeks or even months.
     Our spiritual lives should be the same way. When God does something amazing in our lives we should be anxious to tell others about His goodness and love! When He answers prayer in an astonishing way we shouldn't keep that to ourselves! Satan wants to distracts us and keep us from sharing God's goodness with others. Don't let him.
     We might think something so amazing is impossible to forget, but as soon as another rollercoaster of emotions, chaos, and hectic schedules arise, we'll forget where we once were on our spiritual walk.
     One thing I am so thankful for is the past Facebook and Instagram posts I have written, the journal I kept while I went through my break-up and dealt with the worst of my depression, and the scriptures I underlined throughout the process. Without all these things I wouldn't be able to stand in amazement at God's greatness, because I wouldn't be able to recall it as well . . Granted I'm not saying I want to remember all the pain and tears I shed, but I do love to see where God has brought me since then. . .
     Reading my journal can cause tears to arise, almost every time, but then I look at the last time I journaled in it. . . It's been at least 6 months since I last wrote of the pain. What does that tell you? It's a reminder of how long God has continued to bless me on this journey. I know He's never stopped blessing me in life, but I'm referring to a different kind of blessing. A blessing of joy that I have never experienced before. A blessing of growth that I've been feeling. A blessing of the testimony I used to complain I never had.
     Next time something amazing happens to you, make sure you write it down, post about it, or tell a friend, because you never know who might need to hear of God's faithfulness at that moment. And you never know when you'll come across it again. You might just find it a year from then and be able to see how far God has brought you. Give it a try and see what happens.

"He remembered us in our low estate; His love endures forever."
-Psalm 136:23

Sarah

I'm Not Sure Where This Is Going. . .

Hey everyone! Welcome back to my little world of--- Did someone say tacos?!
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     I've spent the last few days not feeling too hot, and before you ask- NO, I'm referring to my overall well-being!
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     Wednesday evening I began a new Bible class on Matthew and the life of Jesus throughout the gospels. I'm taking it with one of my best friends. Granted I pass this class with a C or above, the credits will transfer to my new college in the fall, if God continues to guide me there. It's crazy hard, but I know I'm fully capable if I focus on the the true source of peace and strength throughout the next 7 weeks.
     In order to have the schedule to take this class I had to pull the plug on leading worship for a great group of middle schoolers with one of my best friends. It was a tough decision, but being able to get more and more classes out of the way is a good deal. I know for a fact God will lead me to more worship ministries in the future. I'm pretty darn thankful for the semester I was able to spend worshipping with those teens. Also, while at the youth group I upgraded from an inconvenient corded mic at my church, to a snazzy and flexible cordless at this church. . . And lemme tell ya: You're really able to get your worship on when you don't have that cord getting in the way of raising you arms!! WHO KNEW?! Maybe my church will catch up soon. . .
     As far as work goes, there is only so much more of HyVee bakeries that I can stand. . . I like my job, for the most part, but so often anymore I'm stuck working alone at nights and I'm a social butterfly. I'd enjoy having someone to chat with, and even when I have those people, there's still something missing. . . I want to be able to share Jesus with people, but I keep making excuses for myself, and because of that I'm not able to have good, healthy conversations about Christianity with my coworkers. . .
     Some spiritual encouragement has taken place in my life recently, though. I've noticed a very tiny bond beginning to shape between my younger sister and I with my faith. This excites me so much! While it is still so quiet and small, I'm patiently waiting for the next sign of growth. I've got a dry-erase board in my room, and signs hanging up with names and prayer requests on them. I'd been so bad at forgetting to pray for those on my board, but Monday evening my sister came into my room and just slipped onto my bed with a mellow face.
     "Add _____ to your prayer requests. She was just diagnosed with ______." This warmed my heart. One of her friends from small group was hurting. She's never just chimed in with something like that before, and the fact she made the first move to approach me and also come to terms on her own encouraged me.
     I spoke with my friend on the way home from my class Wednesday night, since we carpool, and I just told him I was glad to see the spark forming, but I also didn't know what to do. He proceeded to tell me that one of the most important things I can keep doing is to keep being a positive example. If it means that much to me to see her grow in her personal walk with Christ, I should keep living mine and shining my personal light. He was right. I'm not sure what it was, but after that conversation I felt inspired to really love on my little sister and do my very best to live a selfless life with her.
     After my friend told me about her break-up a few weeks ago, my sister and I were able to share a moment praying for our tempers while she stayed with us, and also for her and those who would be speaking with her. I can't remember if I mentioned this or not, but I've started to remember just how uncomfortable I was to suggest we spend some time in prayer for our friend. . . That shows how infrequently I was speaking about my faith to my sister, and that wasn't a good thing. Even my worship attitude in the car changes when she's with me. . . I thought about that on the way to town, and during our drive back home I decided to begin to let go, and my hands started raising like they normally would. I wouldn't say she noticed or thought anything of it, but it means a lot to me to be able to comfortably live out my daily faith and love for Christ without thinking twice. That has to start within my family.
     Then Thursday morning arrived. 5:30 in the morning. Wide awake before I'm supposed to be. Vet appointment for my puppy to be spayed at 7:30. Comp class at 12:50. Worship team practice later that night; guitar and singing for my role this week. There I was: sitting on the bathroom floor next to the toilet. Teddy bear in hand for comfort (your rude comments are ignored- I hold no shame,) and phone beside me incase I wanted to be "that sister" and text my sister until she woke up to come save my life. (This is the moment I realized that I really did need to clean the toilet again. My older brother kept telling me it was gross- Hmm, he was right.)
     I barely made it home from the vet visit without tossing my cookies for the third time. I spent the entire day laying down sleeping, making totally unattractive noises and acting like an invalid. I'm a pathetic sick person. In my defense, I haven't thrown up for 5 years. I was a little out of practice.
     Thankfully, after skipping class and music practice, I started to feel more like myself that evening. I slept on and off throughout the night, but did survive without up-chucking anymore of the food that wasn't left in my stomach. Morning came and I was so hungry. I can't do more than 2-3 hours without eating, guys. I'd been like 18 hours since I last ate anything and I was staring to lose touch with reality. I still skipped work that night, but I managed to write 2 papers, and work on most of my schoolwork. This morning I woke up feeling tired yet, but I worked a 7 hour shift and took my siblings to our favorite Mexican restaurant in town after my shift ended. I haven't gained my stomach space back yet, but my gosh, was that chips 'n salsa yummy. I'm saving my leftovers for snack tomorrow. . .
     I'm a bit nervous to go to church tomorrow, because plans have changed for the worship team, and I won't have had a full practice before-hand like normal. Prayers would be appreciated. It might be a rough Sunday.
     I also just took my first 2 Bible quizzes that I'm going to have due by Sunday evening every week now. I thought they'd be super hard and confusing, but thankfully (with the "take the quiz 2 times" option,) I was able to come out with a 9/10 and a 10/10. I'm not a great test-taker, but all the stress I let out over these quizzes the past few days was so unnecessary.
     I've been trying to self-talk myself through stressful moments, reminding myself that stressing out literally does nothing to help me out. It worked for the most part, and I'm hoping it continues to be effective in the upcoming week.
     This Friday I'll be worshipping with thousands of other Christians at the Winter Jam 2017 spectacular. I cannot tell you how excited I am!!! Every year I watch for the updates on who is coming to the concert, and then of course what date they'll be in my area. GUYS! SADIE FREAKING ROBERTSON IS GOING TO SPEAK THIS YEAR! I'm going to do my absolute best to meet this role-model of mine. I could probably cry while giving her a hug. Watch for the picture of us. . . I'm gonna try. . .
     I also should've probably set aside some money for merch. . . Oops. . .
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     I hope the rest of your week is spiritually refreshing and you find time to really dwell on the goodness that only comes through our Father. God bless you all!
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"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not this life more than food, and the body more than clothes?"
-Matthew 6:25

Sarah

Living (Loving) Like Christ- Prepare To Be Convicted

Hey all! Welcome back to my blog.

Here is a verse I would like to share with you that ties in with this post:

Ephesians 4:31-31

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

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     Oftentimes I see people I know getting frustrated because other people don't seem to be treating them kindly. My response to this is almost always the same: have you been treating those people kindly either? I see this a lot with my younger siblings, brother and sister.

     Something to point out is the verse on treating those around us with the kindness we want to be treated with. You may have heard it before:

Luke 6:31

"Do to others as you would have them to do you."

     This does not mean that we should love those around us only so they treat us nicely. That is a problem so many of us face today. We are only willing to do something if there is a reward in it for us.

     We as Christians are to share the love of Christ to everyone we meet. The Bible tells us that "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35.

     According to the "ever truthful internet", love is an intense feeling of deep affection, a person or thing that one loves, and the list goes on and on. . .

     According to the Word of God, love is giving up what we love for the good of others. John 3:16 tells us that
"God so loved the world, that He sent His one and only son, the whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life."
     God loved us so much that He sent His one and only son to earth as an infant, to die on a cross a brutal death, so that we could spend eternity in Heaven with Him. He saved us from the bondage of sin and the inevitable eternity we were deserving to spend in Hell.

     God's Word also tells us that "God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8.
     I feel it's important to note that Christ did not die for us when we all surrendered to Him, followed Him completely, worshipped him, and stopped doing horrible things. No, Christ died for us when we did nothing but ignore and distain Him. He didn't say to Himself, "Oh hey! My children have been doing so good lately, they deserve to spend eternity in Heaven. I guess I'll give up my life for them."

     We were enslaved to the bondage of sin. No one was more deserving to spend eternity in Hell than each of us, but in the midst of the chaos and our reckless behavior, and even our denying of Christ:
Luke 22:34 "Jesus answered, 'I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.'"
     This occurred right before Jesus was crucified. Of all the things Peter could've displayed before the death of Christ, he denied His master. This is how deserving we were of death.

     Christ loved us so much that He died on a rugged cross, taking our place as the sacrifice for our sins. That is love.

     There was nothing in it for Him, giving us the opportunity to spend eternity in paradise, if we so chose to follow Him, and the ultimate example of love.

     Loving our neighbors and friends is not only being kind when you see fit. It isn't only giving your hungry friend a single french fry because you're hungry too and they can get their own snack. And love isn't being kind to your sibling just so they'll drive you to town. . .

     Loving our neighbors and friends is noticing someone in need and helping them when they cannot help you. It's wanting to make someone smile just to make their day brighter. And it's being kind to others just because that is the way Christ would treat them, and being a a witness in that way is one of the greatest. Show the love of Christ by loving others like Christ.

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     If I were to have you remember one thing from this post it would be this: If you love someone so much, why would you never share the Word of God with them, giving them the opportunity to experience unconditional love and eternity in paradise with God. . .?

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     I hope this post hits home for some of you today. I know I am personally convicted myself, as I do not find myself reaching out as often as I should. That last question is one I think about all the time.
     I've heard of instances before where a man was witnessing out on the streets, and it wasn't the message that was being told that convicted so many nonbelievers. . . It was the fact that someone loved them enough to share that Good News with them when they could've been in their homes "safe" from the cold or comfortable on their sofa.

     You never know when someone's last breath will be. Seize the time you have with them to help them secure eternity with the Creator.
     The next time you feel bitter or angry about the way people are treating you, shake it off and go love on them.

"Show us your unfailing love, Lord, and grant us your salvation."

-Psalm 85:7

Sarah

Fear #2: Hurting Others

     Hey all! Welcome back to the second post in my series of blog posts on different fears.
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    When we fear something it can mean multiple different things. It could mean that it causes us anxiety, it could mean we are too afraid to touch an animal, and it could mean we can't bear the thought of something.
     Another one of my fears is the fear of hurting others. I've been told more than once that I'm too nice for my own good. How is this? When I need to be honest with a friend I have a hard time doing it because often times the truth can be painful, and I don't want them to get upset. Even picking a restaurant to go to with friends is hard for me because I don't like to risk offending anyone or leaving one of my friends bummed that they don't get their favorite food. . . Another way I fear hurting others is by distancing myself from them for my own health and well-being.
     Friends are truly a gift from God, but that doesn't mean we have to be friends with the exact same people for all of our lives. I've had some friends since I was in diapers, and I've had other friends for only a short portion of high school.
     I used to have a best friend; we did everything together whether that be music, sleepovers, youth events, tagging each other in funny Instagram pictures, and crying together over hard times. We had fun times together, but the older I got the more I realized that we just didn't mesh as well as we used to, and she was turning into someone I didn't want to be like. . . That was hard for me to admit to myself. For the longest time I put up with her frustrating me and cancelling on me all the time, until finally I told her we needed space and I didn't think we should be friends anymore, and that I didn't consider her a best friend anymore. One of the hardest parts of this for me was the fact she had pushed so many other friends away too, and she didn't have any good Christian friends to turn to.
     I will admit as well, that I was going through difficult times in my own life and I may have been overly emotional at times, but the real test was how she helped me when I was down. I needed a friend who would hug me and pray for me, encourage me in Christ, but I never really felt like I got that from her. Over time I didn't exactly see her growing as excited in her faith as I was, and that was hard for me too. When you're passionate about something amazing and your best friend doesn't share the same passions (and this wasn't something like a TV show- it was JESUS) that makes it really hard to bond over your interests. I really needed a friend who would push me towards Christ in the midst of a storm, and the fact she never thought of that worried me.
     I wanted to be able to be a friend to her, but I was drained and almost always frustrated after spending time with her. . . That's when I knew that I needed to end the friendship. . .
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     Sometimes we have to tell the truth, we have to be honest with ourselves, and sometimes we have to put ourselves before our friends. I wasn't going to be able to be the friend I needed to be to my other friends since childhood if I was constantly drained and upset by another friend. Finally accepting that was incredibly hard, but at the same time, not having to worry about being responsible for someone else and always being there for them was a weight off my shoulders.
     I'm not saying to end a long-term friendship if you have fights and they make you mad some days. Definitely not! Any relationship, whether thats in a dating relationship or a friendship, needs the care and commitment that a dating relationship or marriage needs. None of them will work out if you're not willing to work for them. There comes a certain point where ending it would be wiser than to continue.
     I had tried going back multiple times, telling her that I wanted to be able to talk occasionally and maybe hang out for a little bit from time to time, but every time I left frustrated again. The final straw for me was a concert a few months ago: We had talked about this for weeks and had planned out how to make it work. The day before the concert she told me she wasn't going to make it. . . I had bought my ticket and everything; I was ready to go. . . I was so angry, but I never told her that. I just decided then and there that I was done trying. I'll be nice to her when I see her, but I'm not going to hurt myself anymore trying to make an unhealthy friendship work.
     I will say this: I still pray for her. I still care about her. and I let her know that I'm still praying for her. . . I don't want to turn into the bad person she accused me of being by how I handle the situation. I want to spread the light of Jesus in these situations, no matter what they are or how hard they become.
     When it comes to having to hurt my friends or anybody I care about, I need to spend lots of time in prayer before I do it. . . I don't always want to hurt the people I love, but I do want to do the right thing. The important thing is understanding which is the right thing to do, and how to go about doing it.
     If you have a specific situation that comes to mind, I'd love to hear from you! Email me or comment below and I'd love to give my personal opinion. I'm in no way stating I'll be right or to follow my advice, but I would love to help you feel better in any way I can.
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     I hope you have a wonderful week, and remember to find the positives in these first few days back to school! I start tomorrow again and I can't wait!

"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."
John 15:7

Sarah

"Strong, Firm, and Steadfast"

Hey all!

     If I haven't said it before I'll say it now: Thank you so much for reading my blog! Your support means the world to me, and I love writing each of these posts even if no one reads them. There is something satisfying to me to look ahead to a year or even two years from now when I'll read old blog posts and see how God was working. It's like watching a movie about yourself right after it's happened. . . Strange, but incredibly helpful in noticing how God does His handiwork.

     Something I've gotten into the habit of is being on the lookout for God sightings and truly taking time to appreciate the beauty around me that He has created; I don't want to take anything for granted anymore.

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     A certain topic that is heavy on my heart tonight is relationships. . . I'm obviously no expert, but I have a friend going through a really difficult breakup right now and my heart aches for her. My heart is also heavy because what I feel I need to tell her I really shouldn't. . . So here is the letter I would write to my friend if I could. . . (FYI She doesn't read this blog)

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    My dear friend,

   My heart hurts for you. If I could take all the pain from you and put it on me I definitely would. But I know you can make it through this. Why would I ever take upon myself a pain this great? Because I know who holds tomorrow, I've got a relationship with the One who took upon Him the greatest pain of all, and I've been through a pain like this within the past year, and somehow survived by the grace and love of God. . .

   I want you to know I love you, but I also want you to know I was praying God would speak to his heart and tell him this needed to come to an end. . . It broke my heart to watch you cling to him over God, and it worried me how you felt completely helpless if he wasn't there or you weren't talking to him. . . I wanted to see you have a life outside of the dating relationship also, and I wanted you to be able to talk to me and spend time with me without checking the time to rush off to be with him again. . .

   Most of all I wanted to see him share the same love for Jesus you had at the beginning of the relationship. The love I saw in you began to fade as other things became more important. . . You were not the only one guilty of this within a relationship, but you were one of my close friends for a long time, and suddenly I was put on a back burner. . .

   I never had the bravery to tell you from the start, but I never believed the relationship was healthy or going to last because he was not a Christian, and things moved much too quickly. You really believed you could lead him to Jesus, and I loved you for that, but people are pulled down off their mountain much easier than they are able to heave another person up onto their mountain. . . I wish you would've kept the importance of him loving Jesus like crazy first more important than finding out if he liked you back. . .

   I know this time is tragic and you feel like you're drowning, but I also know that the sooner you are able to look to God and try to see how He wants you to use this precious time to grow closer to Him, the pain will slowly begin to fade. . . Cling to Jesus more than the blankets that surround you at night. . . Pray more than you've ever blinked. . . "and the God of grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast." (1 Peter 5:10)

   It is important to grieve, but holding onto something God is trying to take away is useless. He is trying to give you something much greater; trust Him. He loves you infinitely more than any boy ever will. A man worthy of your affection and time will seek God before he seeks you; he will guide you towards God before himself; he will look out for you and protect you both emotionally and physically.

   God does not need us to move objects for His plan to complete itself. We can focus on living our lives for Him and He will make everything beautiful in its time. You once left me a piece of paper on my pillow after my relationship ended that said "God often takes us into dangerous waters, not to drown us, but to cleanse us." God is trying to guide you back to Him. If it is in His will for you to be with this guy, God will make it beautiful in His time. Focus on running super fast towards Christ, and let Him figure out the puzzle pieces for you.

   I love you, friend.

     Sarah

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     That was a load off my shoulders, and I hope by reading that you will be able to understand some very important keys to a successful relationship. Notice nothing I said involved things the guy and girl needed to do together. . . The things that make up a strong foundation begin with the personal relationship with Jesus. . . If you don't have a firm understanding of Christ and a strong relationship with Jesus first, what makes you think you could make a relationship with another imperfect human work out? Without that strong relationship with Him your relationship will always falter and shake. Hold fast to the One who is always constant and always perfect.

     No matter what's going on in your life right now, the verse I mentioned in the letter may be a comfort to you. One quote I love to tell myself and others is "God often gives His toughest battles to His strongest soldiers." Like I said in my previous post, He is preparing us for everything we will encounter in life ahead of time.

   He doesn't remove anything from our lives without replacing it with something better.

     Remember to be on the lookout for how God is using the difficult times to renew your spirit and bring glory to Himself. When we truly learn to seek Him in all areas of our life our perspective totally changes, our attitudes shift, and our purpose lives out.

     "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

   -Joshua 1:9

Sarah