I just got home from work, and I'm not really sure what to do with myself tonight, so I decided to pull out my laptop and write away. Who knows if I'll even post this- I just wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere.
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First, I have some pictures from Winter Jam to share! As I said in my second to last post, I was determined to get a selfie with Sadie Robertson. While my little sister and her friend actually had the chance to stand in line and take a proper selfie with Sadie... This was mine. Genuine, I know.
She may not have even realized I took a picture with her, but that's not what matters. My friend and I did the same with Colton Dixon, except we were closer and it turned out better.
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One reason I love the Winter Jam concert so much is because of my passion for music.
I've been singing since I was a little kid, and I've been performing for people and crowds since I was in elementary school. Over time the love for music began to grow as the pressure to do music everyone else's way disappeared.
I no longer sing Christmas carols for the elderly with my grandma accompanying me on the piano at Christmas time. I no longer have to sing classical songs with my homeschool choir. I no longer have to put on little "shows" for my family when we have get-togethers at my house. And I no longer have to play music with people I thought were good friends, just to have someone to play along with. . .
Now I can have worship sessions in my room alone, in my car driving, and wherever I go with my headphones. When I perform I am not trying to seek acceptance or fame/popularity. I want to share my love of music and lead people to a place of pure worship and awe at God's grace and love.
People don't "force" me to play anymore, or beg me to sing a tune for them when I try to hide with my music. Maybe that's because they know that 1) it's really not going to happen, and 2) my music is 100 times better when it's something I am doing because I want to, not something that I've been asked to do. I'm not sure why I'm that way- most people may feel more comfortable when they know people love to hear them sing, or when someone asks them to sing a song for them. I'm the opposite. I'd rather ask to play or sing and have someone excitedly accept.
Once I was able to quit piano lessons after 7+ years of lessons with my grandma, I took off on guitar faster than I dreamed. One of my best friends taught me 4 guitar chords, and the next time they saw me I was playing the strumming pattern to Newsboy's "Like A Lion". I began to play guitar all the time, and soon after (approx. 3 years ago) I bought my first guitar, a beautiful Taylor. During this time I'd started my first youtube channel, and I continued to grow in my love of music. I even wrote some original songs.
That same friend and I ended up recording one of my songs and it played on the radio twice. We're a little overdue for a new song haha
That experience was awesome. Not long after that we actually ended up performing it at an Original Works Night at a church where we live. Performing brings me joy. I love it so much. I'm not nervous, and in no snobbish way at all, I love to hear what I sound like over the speakers. I get so excited over a good mix of sound.
My absolute favorite thing about performing? When I'm able to lead a session of worship and the audience is visibly being moved by the Holy Spirit.
4 guitars, a cajon, and a keyboard later, I'm taking baby steps of living out my dream of making music and sharing it with the world. When I was in my early years of high school I'd argue with my mom about college, because I just wanted to become an artist and tour the world. I kid you not- I thought it was realistic to not go to college and suddenly be a famous singer.
Nope.
But now I'd be more than happy just leading worship at local churches and watching the Spirit move in their lives.
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That brings me back to my love for Winter Jam. I know it sounds crazy, and a little unrealistic, but I've wanted to perform live for the Winter Jam Tour since the first time I went 5 years ago. I can't shut the dream off. It's like it's a part of me.
When I'm at these concerts I get this feeling inside that's unlike any other: pure passion.
Passion Conference. That's another journey I'd love to be a part of, but let's save that for another time.
I have a passion to reach people and watch them be touched by the Holy Spirit through song. It was during a time of worship I recommitted my life to Christ last summer. It's during times of worship when I feel at peace and in awe of God. It's during personal worship evenings I have with myself that I can be brought to tears by Jesus' love.
I keep seeing pictures with captions like:
- Use the gifts God gives you
- Don't hide the talents God grants you- share them
- God gave you talents so you could share them with others
I don't think these pictures decided to randomly start appearing over the past few weeks. As I think about sitting down on an empty afternoon, praying for guidance, and allowing Christ to speak through my lyrics, I always seem to run into photos or posts like that. Coincidence? I think not.
God's guidance is awe-striking to me. Sometimes things are so crystal clear, and other times I have a hard time telling the difference between the Spirit moving in me or being overly hungry (which is uncommon for me- I'm almost always eating something. . .)
I keep telling people that I will perform live at Winter Jam someday because there is nothing telling me not to chase that dream. What are the point of passions if we aren't going to do anything with them? God gives us passions for a reason- use them for His glory!
"Give me one pure and holy passion. Give me one magnificent obsession. Give me one glorious ambition for my life: to know and follow hard after You."
-One Pure and Holy Passion
Sarah
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