He's Already Won Our Battles

Hey guys!

     I just got out of one of my college classes early, so I thought I'd take some time before my next class to write about something I thought of last night.
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     I'm not an overly studious person when it comes to math. . . Somehow I ended up not having the correct math throughout middle school, so for about 3 years I wasn't learning what I needed to. That has resulted in me being very behind in school. By behind I mean I barely made it to Algebra 1 by the time I graduated. I may just be bad at math in general, but it could also be that I was behind in math for a long time. I enjoy the subject itself, but I have a difficult time understanding it most of the time.
     I'm currently at a small community college taking some basic classes and working 2 jobs before transferring in the fall. Before I transfer I really need to get going on a math class so I have a feel for college math before attending a larger 4 year school. Sadly, I don't qualify for one of the easiest math classes, because of my grade on a assessment test I took recently. I have a score of 7, and for this class I needed a score of 30. . . That's rough! So I instead found a college prep math class that I only need a score of 14 for, so I've been working on my math preparation, trying to increase my score. Payment for spring semester is approaching fast, and I am beginning to worry that I won't be eligible for this math class and I'll be hit upside the head when I transfer.
     Last night I decided to continue working on my practice problems. Everyone in my family except for my younger brother and I were gone over the weekend, so I wanted to use the quiet time to retake my assessment test (I can take it up to 5 times.) Unfortunately  when I logged in I discovered I needed up to 3 hours in the practice modules before the second assessment would unlock.This frustrated me because I have been so busy lately, it's hard to find time to relax and work on other things that need to get done. Despite my frustration, I sat down and began to work on the practice math problems. I did okay. I wasn't doing horrible. I happened to learn quite a few new things. Sadly, (I swear, this has gotta be the reason I started missing so many haha) when my parents got home that afternoon, I wasn't doing so well anymore and I was even more frustrate. I was beginning to panic that I wouldn't pass my assessment tests. It doesn't help that I don't have all the time in the world, either.
     All these thoughts started to enter my head: You'll never pass these tests. You're too dumb. Don't even try, you won't ever be able to do it. Drop out of college. Cry. Cry. Panic. Yell. Blame others. Dwell on the past. . .
     It was an hour or so of mania in my head and body. For the first time all semester I really began to feel panic and stress. I was managing my schedule and completing homework in a timely manner, and suddenly this whole math situation blew me up into the air.
     I didn't know how to react to everything. I knew that I should keep calm and simply take some time to pray about what I was feeling, but after doing that all semester Satan kept nagging me to just give in and allow my frustration to take over. . . Which is what I did for an hour or so last night. . .
     From about 5:00-6:30 I was sitting in a chair in my living room listening to my favorite Disney soundtracks, and overreacting every time I missed a problem. It wasn't a good time.
     By the time I went downstairs to my bedroom, I decided to go through my homework for this morning to make sure I had everything printed off and ready for my classes. I sat down to work on some things and I calmed right down. At first I was panicking because I had so much to do, but I had forgotten to only focus on what I can do at the moment.
     I was allowing all my fear of things that I needed to get done in the next week or so affect how I was able to handle things at the moment. I wasn't going to be able to deal with those things until the time came. I sat on my bed messaging 2 of my best friends in our Facebook group chat that I made for us to use when we're at college. We were all encouraging each other and talking about our stress and how we felt. It was nice to know I wasn't alone, but also to receive the encouragement that they were able to give me.
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When I woke up this morning I read my devotions. Today it was on how the situations we have with family friends, or school etc. may feel like they're controlling us, but they're not. It also went on to talk about Satan trying to steal our joy, and filling our head with lies. . . How fitting.
     Luke 1:21-22 "When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are safe. But when someone stronger attacks and overpowers him, he takes away the armor in which the man trusted and divides up his plunder."
     One piece from the devotional said, "Scripture makes it abundantly clear that the battles we encounter in our visible, physical world coincide with a larger battle being waged in the invisible, spiritual world. Satan plots and schemes to keep our eyes fixed on the physical so we forget, or lose faith in, the power and name of the One who is our Savior and defender."
     I LOVE THIS! It was a real hit in the head for me: Who wants me to be stressed out and anxious about the unfixable? Duh.
     I am God's child and He wants me to enjoy life and live it to the fullest. I can't do that if I'm stressing out about other things that really shouldn't be controlling my life like that.
     Some other verses included in the devotional were:
     1 John 4:4 "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."
     1 John 3:8a "The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work."
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     God has already won all battles with Satan. I don't always want to sit in prayer and ask God to give me guidance and peace, because sometimes it can seem harder than the first choice: cry and scream about how bad life is. . . But I really should take the time to pray and dive into His Word. It may not seem worth-while in the moment, but trust me, going to God for help and comfort is always worth it.
     Just remember that the next time you get hit with a dose of the devil's work. . . God is stronger, He's already won, and with God you are able to ignore what Satan is trying to make you believe about yourself...
     I CAN pass this assessment if I work hard. I CAN make it through college. I CAN do this.


     "I can do all things through Christ who strenthens."
-Philippians 4:13