Adventures in Downtown Joplin

Hey all! Welcome back to my blog!

     The day before I left campus to return home for Christmas break, my friends and I decided to head out on the town and have a photo shoot! I thought for this post I would show you some of my favorites and let you enjoy some of Joplin's downtown beauty and ascetic.

     My friends have such beautiful personalities and it shines out into who they are on the outside as well! I hope you enjoy this picture montage of our adventures downtown!

-Sarah

Reflecting On How Far I've Come

Hey all!

     So much has happened since the last time I wrote. It's been a while since my last post, but I wanted to take some time to focus on schoolwork and building relationships with the people on campus.
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     While I sit here pondering over everything that has happened over the last few months, it's crazy to think that my first semester at Ozark is almost over. It was so amazing and I couldn't be more thankful that God brought me to this school.
     Over the past 3 months God has revealed Himself to me in amazing ways. From entrusting my friendships here to Him, to following where He guides me throughout my journey towards my degree, my faith has been tested and grown during my few months here.
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     One of the first things that I struggled with at college was making friends that I would be able to hang out with all the time. You know those people, the ones you call your squad. Yeah, I was having a difficult time finding myself one of those, and it had been about 2 weeks. At that point people were settling into their normal friend groups and establishing their routines.
     God ended up bringing me into the perfect friend group. It's gotten to the point where I have 1 specific friend that I do everything with, literally unless one of us is unavailable- or sleeping (*cough, Gaby.) She's my best friend. She's crazy, super funny, and a great listener. I love Gaby. She's the best friend I prayed for at school for the longest time, and before I knew it we were super close and having so much fun together.
     What I had begun to notice throughout my first 2 weeks of school was how God would prevail in my times of anxiety and nervousness. I actually ended up skipping a few meals the first 2 weeks because I didn't have anyone to go down to the cafeteria with and sit by, so I stayed in my room and ate a sandwich.
     I finally had a mini pep-talk with myself (I have those all the time, don't judge.) I came to the conclusion that I needed to get my act together and go eat food; food is a major priority for me so I needed to get it somehow. Duh. The one day I finally worked up the courage to go down there for lunch by myself, I ended up finding some awesome people to sit with and now we're all amazing friends.
     There are a few other instances where I felt alone and afraid, but God ended up giving me exactly what I needed and I was blessed by the outcome of the event. After I began to notice a pattern in this case, my courage to step out and be myself while living my own life was built up. I still won't go to a sit-down restaurant by myself, (but then again, I never have and I don't plan to!) but God has given me an amount of strength and confidence I've never had before.

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     When I was moving to Missouri I told myself I would not let myself get swept away in assignments and procrastinate, resulting in late nights and sleep deprivation. By the grace of God I have been able to stay on top of my reading, exams, and even papers throughout the entire semester. I never got swept away a single time and, while I did receive a test grade that crushed my self-esteem for a few weeks, I was able to refocus my purpose and goals in being at Ozark.
     Before I knew it, I was back to trucking along in my work and I am pleased to say that as of right now, a few days before finals, I have all A's with the exception of one B- (the class I failed a test in.) It's crazy to think of how worried I was about handling college classes, but in all honesty, when your priorities are set in the right places and you apply yourself, you can do great things. I have only stayed up past 12:30am two times this semester, and it was on the weekends talking with my friends. Otherwise I have been able to get into my dorm and head to bed anywhere from 9:30-11pm every night. Then on school mornings I'm waking up anywhere from 6:30am-7:15am, depending on whether I have an 8:00am class that morning or not.
     I may or may not be teased from time to time about going to sleep so early (early from the view of a college student) and have been nicknamed the grandma. It's alright, I laugh every time. One of my friends has decided I am the example of a perfect college student: gets assignments turned in early/on time, goes to bed on time and gets normal hours of sleep, has a social life, isn't stressed about homework, runs a youtube channel and writes a blog. . . At first I was honored that she would say that to me. Now, it's honestly annoying and she's started saying it just to push my buttons. Our friendship is great.
     Time managing is something I had been setting my mind on all Summer, so to be able to know I am halfway through my second year of college with this kind of progress and discipline, I am feeling very confident about the next 2 1/2 years of school before I receive my bachelors. Then onto my masters, but let's not talk about that quite yet.
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     I'm not saying this to brag or to try and make myself seem all put together. Gosh, no. In all honesty, I've had some hard days at school. God has definitely stretched me, and he's tested me in ways I didn't think I could handle at times.
     Not knowing anyone other than my friend Aaron was super rough, especially because I would only see him once a week in passing. This meant I felt pretty alone for a while. I am alright with being on my own, but anyone who knows me well knows I have a difficult time going places or doing things without someone to go with. That was a stretching point for me, and I needed to learn to put myself out there.
     Another way I've seen God stretching me this semester is by remembering there is another world I'm a part of back home, and I can't forget about it. Balancing living in Missouri, while everything I have is back in Iowa can be a challenge. Purposefully staying in contact with friends back in Iowa (and 1 in Nicaragua) to maintain those friendships is harder than you would think. It takes intentionality and commitment to keep up with it all. In addition to that, knowing I have 2 younger siblings at home, who I miss more than I thought I ever would, is so hard when you know they're going through tough times and when exciting things happen in their lives. I'm incredibly thankful for FaceTime and phone calls to stay in touch with them. It's been amazing to see them grow and mature over the past 4 months that I have lived so far away.
     Probably one of the biggest ways I've seen God grow me over the past few months is through making friendships that require me to be transparent and open about my life and what I struggle with. When you've got 20 girls on a single floor of a dorm, there will be drama and there will be some days when tears are shed. I've been blessed with an amazing floor that doesn't have much drama or arguing. It's honestly amazing and Alumni 3rd is my second home, truly. However, there are days I miss friends, or I'm having to make some tough choices (either for myself or for others) that break me apart.
     There was something that came up about a month ago, and it tore my heart into pieces. I discovered something about someone I'm very close with that I didn't want to deal with, but after talking with adults, close friends here, and my family, it was made known to me that it had gotten very serious and actions needed to be taken. 
     I obviously won't explain the situation, but when this all occurred, I was sitting at the end of my hall in the chair by the window on the phone with my Mom. My roommate walked into the hall and saw me on the phone with tears in my eyes. Then Gaby, my best friend walked over and saw me crying too. Both of them weren't sure what to think since they had never seen me cry before. It honestly took them by surprise. Gaby didn't even think they were tears at first.
     This was 3 1/2 months into school, and they hadn't seen me cry unless I was laughing super hard. They hadn't seen me cry because I hadn't cried since being at school. When I say I've been blessed with an amazing community and life here, I mean it. So when this all happened, while I had amazing friends and adults to go to, it was a very difficult step for me to be open and honest about what I was dealing with and show emotions besides joy and laughter.
     Overall, taking the step to let myself be vulnerable and emotional with my friends was a great help for me. To let them know I was feeling sorrow was healing. I've always struggled to show negative emotions, especially sadness. When I expressed that side of myself with them our friendships grew even closer.
     The last way I've seen God grow me has been in the last few weeks. I've recently learned that I was selected from auditions to play acoustic guitar and sing on a chapel worship team next semester at school. I'm incredibly excited, but I'm also incredibly nervous. While I've played guitar for 5 years now, and I've been singing publicly since I was little, knowing I am on a team of multiple other students leading worship on our own is a little intimidating. I am going to need to apply myself to my practicing and to increasing in my guitar skills the entire semester. It will take lots of work, but I am excited to see the growth by next Summer.
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     As I sit here and think about everything that's happened the past 4 months I've lived in Missouri, I wouldn't change a thing. I know I am where I'm supposed to be, and I know that I am studying in the area God has called me to.
     If you're on the fence about where to go after high school graduation, take it to God. Just know that He will use you wherever you go, and He will show you the way when you give it to Him.
     A year and a half ago I was confident that I was going to skip going to a 4 year college and take the easy way out by attending cosmetology school close to home so I could graduate quickly and have a job right away. It took helping my older sister get ready for her wedding for me to quickly realize that this was not where I was called.
     At that point I was clueless about what to do. I wasn't going to go to college, guys. I was honestly planning on staying home and finding a job somewhere. I didn't want to move, and for years I had been ignoring God tugging on my heart to go into the counseling ministry.
     Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while will know the next part of the story. . .
     I suffered from depression for a few years during this time, and had I stayed home and not gone to college I would be a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual mess. My fear of stepping out and following where I felt called would have kept me from all the wonder of God I've experienced since August.
     Following God's call was one of the hardest things I've done, and I will tell you that it was 100% worth it. When people ask how I ended up at Ozark I am able to share my testimony with them and show them how God provided for me in a time of complete darkness and confusion.
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     I did not want to go to a Bible college, and I did not want to go into the ministry field. I also didn't want to go far away. Look at me now:

•      I am attending a small Bible college with less than 1,000 students.
• I am entering the ministry field as a clinical counselor to help families who have endured difficulties, and to counsel young women who went through what I suffered for so long.
• I am attending college in another state, almost 6 hours away from home.

     It was a major adjustment and a huge step in coming to Ozark, but the 300+ miles I travel to go home is nothing compared to how far God has brought me the last 4 months.

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 

Sarah