Welcome back!
I hope your Christmas weekend was amazing and filled with lots of love and laughter :)
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This morning I looked at the "Verse of the Day" on my phone, and I wanted to share it with you.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
-Isaiah 41:10
Something I struggle with is fear. Fear of the unknown; fear of rejection; fear of pain. The list goes on and on.
As far as facing my fears, there are certain instances where you can't always face the fear up front. There are far too many fears to go into detail with, so for now I'll focus on one of the most prominent ones in my life right now: the fear of loneliness.
I'm not talking about the worry that God is gonna force me to be single the rest of my life and put on a smile about it. Definitely not.
I don't always have the greatest relationship with my family, especially my little sister, and that scares me when I think of the future. What if really amazing, Godly men are turned off by the fact I don't have a good relationship with my family? What if I'm an adult and my family were to fall apart. Questions like this begin to surface.
One of my friend's just tagged me in an Instagram video on Bethel Music's page. This guy was talking about how God guides us where to go and what to do, but He never expects us to go through anything alone and He will never put us through a difficult situation we are not already prepared to handle. The things we experience in our lives are shaping us to handle what He needs us to go through later in life. I bet my friend had no idea I was blogging right now when he tagged me in the post that had so much to do with this post! Crazy how God works, right? Hey buddy, if you're reading this post, thanks for sharing that video with me! :)
My point of sharing that story with you is this: If you truly do feel like God is leading you to end an unhealthy relationship, mend a broken friendship, take a step of faith, do something out of the ordinary for someone, or you suddenly find yourself in a situation where everything is spinning and seems out of your control. . . pray PrAy PRAY! He knows what He's doing. He has prepared you for this VERY MOMENT! He won't throw you into the pool without first teaching you how to swim. He loves you too much to do that.
Ok, now I'm getting a little excited about this. God is moving in my heart right now, guys. This is so cool.
I don't need to fear the future and the possible decisions that God may lead me to make, because right now He's already equipping me to be prepared and ready to handle them, as long as I am willing to prepare myself too. While God can do "immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine," (Ephesians 3:20) we still need to prepare our hearts to be moved by God.
How is God preparing me now for the future? I can't know for sure. But if I truly start to see Him beginning to tell me to make specific changes in my life I'll look more closely for signs of how He has equipped me for this. It's all about outlook and perspective, my friends.
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My prayer for all my readers, and everyone else is that they would really see God at work this year! That they would learn to listen to His voice and grow in their faith.
Remember, we all have our bad days and those times when we lose sight of what really matters. What's important then is to refocus our minds and hearts towards the One who will never fail us!
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
-Ephesians 3:20-21
Sarah
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Sunday, December 25, 2016
Bitterness During the Holidays
Hey all! Welcome back!
Sorry I've been gone for a few days- the Christmas season really keeps everyone busy. Not to mention I've been taking some time to myself over break to really recharge.
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So far my Christmas has been pretty enjoyable. As always it flew by really quickly, but I had a good time none the less. My favorite present this year was an ESV version of a journaling Bible. I'd seen pictures of these illustrations all over Pinterest and Instagram, but I never thought I'd have my own Bible to draw and color in! I'm definitely no artist, and I have to copy pictures from the internet, but here is my first Bible journal illustration.
I've only done a few so far, but something about being able to personalize a Bible to my taste makes reading and studying more appealing. It's really relaxing to sit back in the quiet with my markers and pens to just reflect on scripture to decide what to draw. Every time I do this I feel peaceful and a sense of joy from dwelling in His presence.
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And that's what I want to write about today: keeping that joy during the holidays. Now, you may be asking to yourself "why is she writing about being bitter during Christmas?!" but it's because I struggle with feeling bitter during Christmas, or any holiday really. Why is this? Because I struggle with feeling lonely when everyone else seems to have someone. Understand now? Allow me to continue.
You may not know this, but until 7 months ago I was in a relationship of over 2 years, and after it ended I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. My best friend who I had talked to about everything and gone to every event with was no longer in that part of my life. . . This made holidays extremely difficult. The mess of deciding whether to break up or not began on Valentine's Day, so you can only guess how difficult that weekend was to celebrate. Throughout the summer it wasn't so bad, and with college starting there was something new to keep me busy. Once the holidays started with Halloween and Thanksgiving, though, then everything started to come back to me. I was determined not to allow my loneliness to prevent me from enjoying my Christmas. I refuse to register the pain of a breakup at the holiday season every year. I knew if I allowed the pain to overtake me this time, it stands an even better chance of doing that again next year. . .
I'm not even sure how to deal with the bitterness that being lonely can bring, but I do know someone who wants to help those who deal with this. Jesus. It doesn't even have to be relationally; it could be with family or even a friend.
Dealing with loneliness is difficult, especially when you're someone who loves to build relationships with people and sit down to talk things through. Not having certain people in your life at certain times of the year can begin to feel unnatural and upsetting. When you feel lonely it can be hard to open up to anyone, especially someone new, even if you've known them for a long time. Opening up for the first time is incredibly intimidating.
Running to Jesus with our hearts can seem silly and frightening when we already don't feel happy with how things are, because we know He's going to do what is best either way. Sometime that's scary. I know I struggle with giving Jesus my heart, simply because for me it's hard to really see Jesus as someone to give my heart to. I can't visually see him, although I see what he does in my life. I can't audibly hear him, but somehow he still speaks to me. And I can't physically touch him, but somehow I still feel his spirit in me when I feel weak.
Even if you want to totally give your heart to Jesus, something like that isn't just common sense for a "how-to." I'm not even sure I fully understand this either. I do know how comforting and freeing it can be to give your heart to Jesus, but I'm honestly just not sure how to do that. I have the same thoughts about surrendering all your anxiety to Christ. I'm just not sure what all this means.
When it comes to all this I understand that I should seek out and try to find out more on what all this means, but when it all comes down to it, there's not a 4 page long instruction manual.
Everyone's relationship with Christ is special and unique. The one thing we all have in common is that we'll see each other in Heaven someday, praising God together in paradise for eternity. Because of the uniqueness from everyone's relationships with Christ, while we can encourage each other and help when one another out when we can, it's impossible to know how to handle situations or understand things black and white.
We all have different perspectives on things based on how we've experienced God in our own lives. For me? I understand His faithfulness and love because of how I've seen it at work in my life this past year. When I needed a pick-me-up He provided one. When I felt like giving up He showed me another reason to keep going. And when I felt all alone and bitter He showed me I have so much to be grateful for and that brings me joy.
If we allow ourselves to be overcome with the bitterness of different circumstances, such as loneliness, we'll miss the greater scheme of things! If I had never gone to see a counselor this past year I may never have found my purpose in life and realized where God wanted me to take my studies in college. If I had never gone to that EFCA conference this past summer I would not have experienced the overwhelming presence of the Holy Spirit that I did, and I may not have recommitted my life to Christ. If I had dwelt on the bitterness that can sometimes accompany a breakup, and believed all of the lies Satan tried to feed me about not being good enough, failing in so many areas, and never finding anyone else, I would've blocked out any chance at loving myself for who God sees me as.
The bitterness in our lives may seem overpowering, and maybe even make us feel better in a way, but honestly, all that bitterness does is distract us from the bigger picture. How do I try to refrain from surrendering to the bitterness that life tries to throw at me? I focus on what God is trying to tell me in the midst of the pain and suffering. Theres always something, otherwise there would be no point in pain.
What's my proof for this? Jesus Christ underwent the most painful experience of all. Through this suffering, AND ONLY THIS SUFFERING, those who choose to life for and follow him will experience eternal life in Heaven someday. We were supposed to be on that cross. We were supposed to take care of our own sins. Instead Jesus took our place and felt the worst pain imaginable because He wanted us to be with him in Heaven someday, and He wanted to show us how much we are loved by him. So the next time you feel like your overwhelming pain is pointless, just remember this: God often reveals the biggest truths during/after the worst storms.
2 Corinthians 1:4
"Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."
Sarah
Sorry I've been gone for a few days- the Christmas season really keeps everyone busy. Not to mention I've been taking some time to myself over break to really recharge.
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So far my Christmas has been pretty enjoyable. As always it flew by really quickly, but I had a good time none the less. My favorite present this year was an ESV version of a journaling Bible. I'd seen pictures of these illustrations all over Pinterest and Instagram, but I never thought I'd have my own Bible to draw and color in! I'm definitely no artist, and I have to copy pictures from the internet, but here is my first Bible journal illustration.
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And that's what I want to write about today: keeping that joy during the holidays. Now, you may be asking to yourself "why is she writing about being bitter during Christmas?!" but it's because I struggle with feeling bitter during Christmas, or any holiday really. Why is this? Because I struggle with feeling lonely when everyone else seems to have someone. Understand now? Allow me to continue.
You may not know this, but until 7 months ago I was in a relationship of over 2 years, and after it ended I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. My best friend who I had talked to about everything and gone to every event with was no longer in that part of my life. . . This made holidays extremely difficult. The mess of deciding whether to break up or not began on Valentine's Day, so you can only guess how difficult that weekend was to celebrate. Throughout the summer it wasn't so bad, and with college starting there was something new to keep me busy. Once the holidays started with Halloween and Thanksgiving, though, then everything started to come back to me. I was determined not to allow my loneliness to prevent me from enjoying my Christmas. I refuse to register the pain of a breakup at the holiday season every year. I knew if I allowed the pain to overtake me this time, it stands an even better chance of doing that again next year. . .
I'm not even sure how to deal with the bitterness that being lonely can bring, but I do know someone who wants to help those who deal with this. Jesus. It doesn't even have to be relationally; it could be with family or even a friend.
Dealing with loneliness is difficult, especially when you're someone who loves to build relationships with people and sit down to talk things through. Not having certain people in your life at certain times of the year can begin to feel unnatural and upsetting. When you feel lonely it can be hard to open up to anyone, especially someone new, even if you've known them for a long time. Opening up for the first time is incredibly intimidating.
Running to Jesus with our hearts can seem silly and frightening when we already don't feel happy with how things are, because we know He's going to do what is best either way. Sometime that's scary. I know I struggle with giving Jesus my heart, simply because for me it's hard to really see Jesus as someone to give my heart to. I can't visually see him, although I see what he does in my life. I can't audibly hear him, but somehow he still speaks to me. And I can't physically touch him, but somehow I still feel his spirit in me when I feel weak.
Even if you want to totally give your heart to Jesus, something like that isn't just common sense for a "how-to." I'm not even sure I fully understand this either. I do know how comforting and freeing it can be to give your heart to Jesus, but I'm honestly just not sure how to do that. I have the same thoughts about surrendering all your anxiety to Christ. I'm just not sure what all this means.
When it comes to all this I understand that I should seek out and try to find out more on what all this means, but when it all comes down to it, there's not a 4 page long instruction manual.
Everyone's relationship with Christ is special and unique. The one thing we all have in common is that we'll see each other in Heaven someday, praising God together in paradise for eternity. Because of the uniqueness from everyone's relationships with Christ, while we can encourage each other and help when one another out when we can, it's impossible to know how to handle situations or understand things black and white.
We all have different perspectives on things based on how we've experienced God in our own lives. For me? I understand His faithfulness and love because of how I've seen it at work in my life this past year. When I needed a pick-me-up He provided one. When I felt like giving up He showed me another reason to keep going. And when I felt all alone and bitter He showed me I have so much to be grateful for and that brings me joy.
If we allow ourselves to be overcome with the bitterness of different circumstances, such as loneliness, we'll miss the greater scheme of things! If I had never gone to see a counselor this past year I may never have found my purpose in life and realized where God wanted me to take my studies in college. If I had never gone to that EFCA conference this past summer I would not have experienced the overwhelming presence of the Holy Spirit that I did, and I may not have recommitted my life to Christ. If I had dwelt on the bitterness that can sometimes accompany a breakup, and believed all of the lies Satan tried to feed me about not being good enough, failing in so many areas, and never finding anyone else, I would've blocked out any chance at loving myself for who God sees me as.
The bitterness in our lives may seem overpowering, and maybe even make us feel better in a way, but honestly, all that bitterness does is distract us from the bigger picture. How do I try to refrain from surrendering to the bitterness that life tries to throw at me? I focus on what God is trying to tell me in the midst of the pain and suffering. Theres always something, otherwise there would be no point in pain.
What's my proof for this? Jesus Christ underwent the most painful experience of all. Through this suffering, AND ONLY THIS SUFFERING, those who choose to life for and follow him will experience eternal life in Heaven someday. We were supposed to be on that cross. We were supposed to take care of our own sins. Instead Jesus took our place and felt the worst pain imaginable because He wanted us to be with him in Heaven someday, and He wanted to show us how much we are loved by him. So the next time you feel like your overwhelming pain is pointless, just remember this: God often reveals the biggest truths during/after the worst storms.
2 Corinthians 1:4
"Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."
Sarah
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Learning To Wait and Listen For God
Welcome back!
Last night and this morning God spoke to me through my evening devotions and a vlog (video blog) of my favorite youtubers this morning when I woke up.
My evening devotions at the moment are in the form of a prayer related to the life of a teenager, and taking situations we may face and asking God to help us deal with them or remain focused on God. It's called "Prayers For A Teenager" or something like that. . .
Anyways, last night the devotional was about "my best friend getting the guy I wanted," and when I read this I was honestly rather surprised. This sort of relates to a recent situation that took place a few months ago with my best friend and someone I do not talk to anymore. I wasn't sure how to react to this. The devotional went on to talk about jealousy of this "relationship" between these two friends. Obviously this whole devotional didn't apply to me in the exact terms it was written it, but the key to successfully receiving from a devotional is to dig deep into it and figure out a way to apply it correctly to your life. So I decided to take the jealousy aspect and apply it to my life right now.
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While I am not usually an overly jealous person, I have noticed lately that I've started to envy other people's fake lives. . . What do I mean about fake lives? Allow me to explain.
We see so many posts about people's lives on social media, and what can be dangerous about this is that everyone gets to choose what to show the world.
A day at the beach? Instagram it. Enjoying a fun date with a boyfriend or best friend? Snapchat it. Suffering from a laugh attack? Facebook it. - - - - Having a really hard time adjusting to life away from home? Feeling absolutely torn inside? Being in a relationship that is actually very upsetting? Keep it to yourself. Don't let anyone know.
This is the way social media works. When we start to envy someone's life based on what we see from social media, we have no idea what goes on behind the camera or status updates. I've come to realize the importance of being real, without going overboard with people. While it is important to do your best to find the positives in life, and it's also important to reach out to friends for help when you need it and never try to act like you have it all together, but at the same time there can be too much of either side.
I've been having a hard time not envying the college freshman I see at their new campuses posting pictures with their new friends and having a girl's night of pizza and movies in their dorm room. Or all the exploring they post about doing both on campus and around the town. Or the way they seem to have everything together, both emotionally and spiritually. They may seem to always have a smile on their face, and they are always posting pictures of having successful Bible Study evenings with other close friends. But who really knows if they've always got a smile on their face? and who knows if they feel as close to God as they seem to be? Without knowing the entire story, it is very dangerous to envy on social media. Or ever, to be honest. We see in the 10 commandments that we are not to covet what our neighbor has, whether that's a physical item or the smile they wear on their face.
God has given us exactly what we need when we need it. If we want something else that someone has it means we are not content with the way God has us right now. That must break God's heart when we are not happy with what He gives us. It's like watching a friend open a birthday present we saved up for forever to buy them, and they absolutely hate it. . . That just crushes you, doesn't it? It's the same concept, only magnified, when we are not content with what God gives us. I understand this is not always easy, but like I said before, God gives exactly what we need when we need it, we need only be patient.
Patience. A trait I lack greatly in my life. I want to have a recording studio. I want to be a christian counselor who impacts the lives of others. I want to get to my new college in the fall so I can start experiencing adult life. I want to meet an amazing, Godly man and marry him. I want a family. I want to leave behind a legacy of trusting and following God to everyone I knew when I'm gone.
But God either has chosen not to give me some of these things, or He's chosen to give them to me way later in life. Patience. I have a feeling I'll have learned to apply this trait to my life better by the time I'm in my 70s. . .
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This morning when I was browsing my youtube subscriptions, I saw a vlog of a married couple I love watching, who just had their first baby. (Carlos and Alexa Penavega and their new son Ocean King- Their youtube name is LexLovesLos)
At the end of every vlog they like to do what they call a "WOW." (Words Of Wisdom) This morning Alexa's WOW was to learn to wait for God. He answers our prayers right when we need Him to, and in the way that He knows best. She talked about spending many mornings in their prayer room a year ago praying for certain things, and within the last month she has seen these prayers being answered. She said that it's all just about learning to listen for God's voice and waiting on His timing. His voice is evident in our everyday lives, we just need to learn to listen for it and understand it. His timing is perfect. Never has God ever been too early or late with giving His children what He wants them to have.
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Lately I've been praying for confidence in my spiritual life, strength to carry on throughout the storms life brings, and also for wisdom in how to carry out handling my feelings. As I grow and mature in my faith, it has become top priority for me to find a man who loves God above all else. Well, there is someone I have become friends with who radiates God, and I love that. I love how they seek to serve God and show God to those he comes into contact with in everyday life. The difficult part? Waiting to hear from God on how I need to handle this situation. Should I talk to this guy about what I've been praying about? Should I continue to wait and see if he does anything, first? This is the hard part of listening for God's voice and waiting on His timing. We don't get to decide what God wants us to do, and we definitely don't get to decide when He gives us the things we want.
Another thing I try really hard to remind myself is that, when I want something so badly, or really want it to work out with someone, I may become biased to what I want to hear from God. Yes, this happens. Don't try to deny it. If I want God to tell me to go ahead and seek out a relationship with this guy, I may try to convince myself that when I hear God saying one thing it really meant another thing. I hope that makes sense, because it's such a problem and it's definitely happening all over the place. I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about this to be honest, that almost scares me. As I've learned to listen for God's voice, I look back at many times I almost did the wrong thing because "God told me to go for it" or whatever it may have been, when really I just thought this thing was so important that I went on my own will power.
My not-in any way-professional advice? Make sure your prayers are sincere and your heart truly wants to hear what God has to say. Don't allow your jealousy to contradict how you live your life right now. And don't jump the gun and think God is saying "now is the time" when you're really just too impatient to wait for God's ever-faithful and perfectly-timed sign that now is the time we have been waiting for.
We may think we know what we need and when we need it, but really, God is the only one who knows exactly what we need and when He should give it to us.
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I hope this post was an encouragement to you. I know I sometimes feel like as I write God is allowing me to see it through new eyes as I go back and proof-read my words. Sometimes I have an all new insight and feel inspired or encouraged to write something else, or do something today that I have been putting off or praying about.
Never stop seeking. Never stop praying. and Never stop trusting that God knows what to do and when to do it.
God is ever-faithful. Just trust Him!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6
God bless!
Sarah
Last night and this morning God spoke to me through my evening devotions and a vlog (video blog) of my favorite youtubers this morning when I woke up.
My evening devotions at the moment are in the form of a prayer related to the life of a teenager, and taking situations we may face and asking God to help us deal with them or remain focused on God. It's called "Prayers For A Teenager" or something like that. . .
Anyways, last night the devotional was about "my best friend getting the guy I wanted," and when I read this I was honestly rather surprised. This sort of relates to a recent situation that took place a few months ago with my best friend and someone I do not talk to anymore. I wasn't sure how to react to this. The devotional went on to talk about jealousy of this "relationship" between these two friends. Obviously this whole devotional didn't apply to me in the exact terms it was written it, but the key to successfully receiving from a devotional is to dig deep into it and figure out a way to apply it correctly to your life. So I decided to take the jealousy aspect and apply it to my life right now.
-
-
While I am not usually an overly jealous person, I have noticed lately that I've started to envy other people's fake lives. . . What do I mean about fake lives? Allow me to explain.
We see so many posts about people's lives on social media, and what can be dangerous about this is that everyone gets to choose what to show the world.
A day at the beach? Instagram it. Enjoying a fun date with a boyfriend or best friend? Snapchat it. Suffering from a laugh attack? Facebook it. - - - - Having a really hard time adjusting to life away from home? Feeling absolutely torn inside? Being in a relationship that is actually very upsetting? Keep it to yourself. Don't let anyone know.
This is the way social media works. When we start to envy someone's life based on what we see from social media, we have no idea what goes on behind the camera or status updates. I've come to realize the importance of being real, without going overboard with people. While it is important to do your best to find the positives in life, and it's also important to reach out to friends for help when you need it and never try to act like you have it all together, but at the same time there can be too much of either side.
I've been having a hard time not envying the college freshman I see at their new campuses posting pictures with their new friends and having a girl's night of pizza and movies in their dorm room. Or all the exploring they post about doing both on campus and around the town. Or the way they seem to have everything together, both emotionally and spiritually. They may seem to always have a smile on their face, and they are always posting pictures of having successful Bible Study evenings with other close friends. But who really knows if they've always got a smile on their face? and who knows if they feel as close to God as they seem to be? Without knowing the entire story, it is very dangerous to envy on social media. Or ever, to be honest. We see in the 10 commandments that we are not to covet what our neighbor has, whether that's a physical item or the smile they wear on their face.
God has given us exactly what we need when we need it. If we want something else that someone has it means we are not content with the way God has us right now. That must break God's heart when we are not happy with what He gives us. It's like watching a friend open a birthday present we saved up for forever to buy them, and they absolutely hate it. . . That just crushes you, doesn't it? It's the same concept, only magnified, when we are not content with what God gives us. I understand this is not always easy, but like I said before, God gives exactly what we need when we need it, we need only be patient.
Patience. A trait I lack greatly in my life. I want to have a recording studio. I want to be a christian counselor who impacts the lives of others. I want to get to my new college in the fall so I can start experiencing adult life. I want to meet an amazing, Godly man and marry him. I want a family. I want to leave behind a legacy of trusting and following God to everyone I knew when I'm gone.
But God either has chosen not to give me some of these things, or He's chosen to give them to me way later in life. Patience. I have a feeling I'll have learned to apply this trait to my life better by the time I'm in my 70s. . .
-
-
This morning when I was browsing my youtube subscriptions, I saw a vlog of a married couple I love watching, who just had their first baby. (Carlos and Alexa Penavega and their new son Ocean King- Their youtube name is LexLovesLos)
At the end of every vlog they like to do what they call a "WOW." (Words Of Wisdom) This morning Alexa's WOW was to learn to wait for God. He answers our prayers right when we need Him to, and in the way that He knows best. She talked about spending many mornings in their prayer room a year ago praying for certain things, and within the last month she has seen these prayers being answered. She said that it's all just about learning to listen for God's voice and waiting on His timing. His voice is evident in our everyday lives, we just need to learn to listen for it and understand it. His timing is perfect. Never has God ever been too early or late with giving His children what He wants them to have.
-
-
Lately I've been praying for confidence in my spiritual life, strength to carry on throughout the storms life brings, and also for wisdom in how to carry out handling my feelings. As I grow and mature in my faith, it has become top priority for me to find a man who loves God above all else. Well, there is someone I have become friends with who radiates God, and I love that. I love how they seek to serve God and show God to those he comes into contact with in everyday life. The difficult part? Waiting to hear from God on how I need to handle this situation. Should I talk to this guy about what I've been praying about? Should I continue to wait and see if he does anything, first? This is the hard part of listening for God's voice and waiting on His timing. We don't get to decide what God wants us to do, and we definitely don't get to decide when He gives us the things we want.
Another thing I try really hard to remind myself is that, when I want something so badly, or really want it to work out with someone, I may become biased to what I want to hear from God. Yes, this happens. Don't try to deny it. If I want God to tell me to go ahead and seek out a relationship with this guy, I may try to convince myself that when I hear God saying one thing it really meant another thing. I hope that makes sense, because it's such a problem and it's definitely happening all over the place. I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about this to be honest, that almost scares me. As I've learned to listen for God's voice, I look back at many times I almost did the wrong thing because "God told me to go for it" or whatever it may have been, when really I just thought this thing was so important that I went on my own will power.
My not-in any way-professional advice? Make sure your prayers are sincere and your heart truly wants to hear what God has to say. Don't allow your jealousy to contradict how you live your life right now. And don't jump the gun and think God is saying "now is the time" when you're really just too impatient to wait for God's ever-faithful and perfectly-timed sign that now is the time we have been waiting for.
We may think we know what we need and when we need it, but really, God is the only one who knows exactly what we need and when He should give it to us.
-
-
I hope this post was an encouragement to you. I know I sometimes feel like as I write God is allowing me to see it through new eyes as I go back and proof-read my words. Sometimes I have an all new insight and feel inspired or encouraged to write something else, or do something today that I have been putting off or praying about.
Never stop seeking. Never stop praying. and Never stop trusting that God knows what to do and when to do it.
God is ever-faithful. Just trust Him!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6
God bless!
Sarah
Monday, December 12, 2016
Finding Jesus In the Manger... Or Finals?
Welcome back to my little world!
I just finished taking my final exam for college... First semester is DONE! It feels so good. I feel good. At the beginning of this semester I felt a little overwhelmed and worried that I'd have to work so hard to keep up with all these other students, but really I fit right in! I've made good friends and while I'm excited to break, I'm also excited to begin next semester. Growing up I always had year-long classes so this whole semester-long class deal seems pretty fantastic to me.
With everyone starting or finishing their finals, I thought I would share my thoughts on everything.
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As a first semester college student, this whole deal has been quite the experience. While I may not have had entire class exams, (only normal chapter exams,) I feel like there were many times I truly had to let go and let God.
I love this phrase. A few months ago when I was in counseling, my therapist suggested trying something called "Breathing Prayer." It was supposed to be like a form of meditation, and that turned me off at first because I was never able to relax enough to truly meditate. Same with the breathing exercises where you breathe in for 3 counts, hold for 5, and exhale for 3. I hated that. I felt like I was suffocating or dying. (Ya, ya. Laugh all you want! I thought it was supposed to relax us?!)
Anyways, after my therapist explained to me what "Breathing Prayer" was, I was game to try it, but I also didn't have much faith that it would do anything for me. "Breathing Prayer" is when you take a phrase, (she suggested a phrase with 2 different parts. For example: I chose the phrase "let go and let God." The whole point of this exercise was to close your eyes (if you were able) and simply think quietly to yourself the phrase you had chosen. For my phrase I would repeat the words "let go" slowly when I breathed in, and repeat the words "let God" as I exhaled. I would repeat this for however long it took to decrease my heart rate and relax. Anytime I felt anxious or began to feel a panic attack of any kind coming on I would practice my prayer. . . It surprisingly worked for me too! I have not done this for a long time, but lately certain things have begun to bother me: people returning from college who I have a difficult time being around, or having to face people who have hurt me excruciatingly for example. I may find myself praying my "Breathing Prayer" again over this break. I could use your prayers too. Dealing with past hurt is never easy, and I have to confront it every time there is a break. . . I'm not the best at healing from painful memories or experiences. Any tips or advice would be great!
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As I've said before, I love to post encouraging things on my Instagram and Facebook pages. While I wait for my presentation here shortly, I was browsing my phone and my "Verse of the Day" popped up on my screen. It. Was. Perfect!
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"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace."
-Acts 20:24
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Finals may not go well, and my break may not go as planned either, but these things don't truly matter in the end scheme of things. Yes, we do need to do our best anyways, but always remember why you do what you do.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters." -Colossians 3:23
I have a difficult time remembering this. I've even found myself guilty of using it as an excuse. . . "Its ok if I don't do well on this. . . It doesn't matter. . ." Here's a tip: don't do this. It's a bad habit to get into. Even when life gets you down, and even when you don't feel like there is a point, remember that you can honor God in everything that you do. If you don't complain about the stress final exams bring, people will notice you're not complaining! If you are relaxed going into and coming out of tests, people will notice! If you are thankful for the opportunity to spend time alone studying, or spend time studying with friends, people will notice!
Don't automatically assume you can only be a light in certain situations. You can really truly be a light anywhere, and in more ways than you may think. . . I would never have thought I could witness to people through taking a Psychology final, but now I do!
I hope you have a good finals week if you're a student. I also hope you've had a chance to reflect on the true reason for this season (Jesus Christ) and dwell on the joy He brings through life. Take some extra time today, even if it's only 5 minutes, to sit quietly and think about all you have to be thankful for, and reflect on some of the things that bring you true joy. I encourage you to seek out some of your favorite things to do this week and take the time to experience the joy this brings you.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" -Philippians 4:4
In Christ,
Sarah
I just finished taking my final exam for college... First semester is DONE! It feels so good. I feel good. At the beginning of this semester I felt a little overwhelmed and worried that I'd have to work so hard to keep up with all these other students, but really I fit right in! I've made good friends and while I'm excited to break, I'm also excited to begin next semester. Growing up I always had year-long classes so this whole semester-long class deal seems pretty fantastic to me.
With everyone starting or finishing their finals, I thought I would share my thoughts on everything.
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As a first semester college student, this whole deal has been quite the experience. While I may not have had entire class exams, (only normal chapter exams,) I feel like there were many times I truly had to let go and let God.
I love this phrase. A few months ago when I was in counseling, my therapist suggested trying something called "Breathing Prayer." It was supposed to be like a form of meditation, and that turned me off at first because I was never able to relax enough to truly meditate. Same with the breathing exercises where you breathe in for 3 counts, hold for 5, and exhale for 3. I hated that. I felt like I was suffocating or dying. (Ya, ya. Laugh all you want! I thought it was supposed to relax us?!)
Anyways, after my therapist explained to me what "Breathing Prayer" was, I was game to try it, but I also didn't have much faith that it would do anything for me. "Breathing Prayer" is when you take a phrase, (she suggested a phrase with 2 different parts. For example: I chose the phrase "let go and let God." The whole point of this exercise was to close your eyes (if you were able) and simply think quietly to yourself the phrase you had chosen. For my phrase I would repeat the words "let go" slowly when I breathed in, and repeat the words "let God" as I exhaled. I would repeat this for however long it took to decrease my heart rate and relax. Anytime I felt anxious or began to feel a panic attack of any kind coming on I would practice my prayer. . . It surprisingly worked for me too! I have not done this for a long time, but lately certain things have begun to bother me: people returning from college who I have a difficult time being around, or having to face people who have hurt me excruciatingly for example. I may find myself praying my "Breathing Prayer" again over this break. I could use your prayers too. Dealing with past hurt is never easy, and I have to confront it every time there is a break. . . I'm not the best at healing from painful memories or experiences. Any tips or advice would be great!
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As I've said before, I love to post encouraging things on my Instagram and Facebook pages. While I wait for my presentation here shortly, I was browsing my phone and my "Verse of the Day" popped up on my screen. It. Was. Perfect!
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-
"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace."
-Acts 20:24
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-
Finals may not go well, and my break may not go as planned either, but these things don't truly matter in the end scheme of things. Yes, we do need to do our best anyways, but always remember why you do what you do.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters." -Colossians 3:23
I have a difficult time remembering this. I've even found myself guilty of using it as an excuse. . . "Its ok if I don't do well on this. . . It doesn't matter. . ." Here's a tip: don't do this. It's a bad habit to get into. Even when life gets you down, and even when you don't feel like there is a point, remember that you can honor God in everything that you do. If you don't complain about the stress final exams bring, people will notice you're not complaining! If you are relaxed going into and coming out of tests, people will notice! If you are thankful for the opportunity to spend time alone studying, or spend time studying with friends, people will notice!
Don't automatically assume you can only be a light in certain situations. You can really truly be a light anywhere, and in more ways than you may think. . . I would never have thought I could witness to people through taking a Psychology final, but now I do!
I hope you have a good finals week if you're a student. I also hope you've had a chance to reflect on the true reason for this season (Jesus Christ) and dwell on the joy He brings through life. Take some extra time today, even if it's only 5 minutes, to sit quietly and think about all you have to be thankful for, and reflect on some of the things that bring you true joy. I encourage you to seek out some of your favorite things to do this week and take the time to experience the joy this brings you.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" -Philippians 4:4
In Christ,
Sarah
Monday, December 5, 2016
He's Already Won Our Battles
Hey guys!
I just got out of one of my college classes early, so I thought I'd take some time before my next class to write about something I thought of last night.
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I'm not an overly studious person when it comes to math. . . Somehow I ended up not having the correct math throughout middle school, so for about 3 years I wasn't learning what I needed to. That has resulted in me being very behind in school. By behind I mean I barely made it to Algebra 1 by the time I graduated. I may just be bad at math in general, but it could also be that I was behind in math for a long time. I enjoy the subject itself, but I have a difficult time understanding it most of the time.
I'm currently at a small community college taking some basic classes and working 2 jobs before transferring in the fall. Before I transfer I really need to get going on a math class so I have a feel for college math before attending a larger 4 year school. Sadly, I don't qualify for one of the easiest math classes, because of my grade on a assessment test I took recently. I have a score of 7, and for this class I needed a score of 30. . . That's rough! So I instead found a college prep math class that I only need a score of 14 for, so I've been working on my math preparation, trying to increase my score. Payment for spring semester is approaching fast, and I am beginning to worry that I won't be eligible for this math class and I'll be hit upside the head when I transfer.
Last night I decided to continue working on my practice problems. Everyone in my family except for my younger brother and I were gone over the weekend, so I wanted to use the quiet time to retake my assessment test (I can take it up to 5 times.) Unfortunately when I logged in I discovered I needed up to 3 hours in the practice modules before the second assessment would unlock.This frustrated me because I have been so busy lately, it's hard to find time to relax and work on other things that need to get done. Despite my frustration, I sat down and began to work on the practice math problems. I did okay. I wasn't doing horrible. I happened to learn quite a few new things. Sadly, (I swear, this has gotta be the reason I started missing so many haha) when my parents got home that afternoon, I wasn't doing so well anymore and I was even more frustrate. I was beginning to panic that I wouldn't pass my assessment tests. It doesn't help that I don't have all the time in the world, either.
All these thoughts started to enter my head: You'll never pass these tests. You're too dumb. Don't even try, you won't ever be able to do it. Drop out of college. Cry. Cry. Panic. Yell. Blame others. Dwell on the past. . .
It was an hour or so of mania in my head and body. For the first time all semester I really began to feel panic and stress. I was managing my schedule and completing homework in a timely manner, and suddenly this whole math situation blew me up into the air.
I didn't know how to react to everything. I knew that I should keep calm and simply take some time to pray about what I was feeling, but after doing that all semester Satan kept nagging me to just give in and allow my frustration to take over. . . Which is what I did for an hour or so last night. . .
From about 5:00-6:30 I was sitting in a chair in my living room listening to my favorite Disney soundtracks, and overreacting every time I missed a problem. It wasn't a good time.
By the time I went downstairs to my bedroom, I decided to go through my homework for this morning to make sure I had everything printed off and ready for my classes. I sat down to work on some things and I calmed right down. At first I was panicking because I had so much to do, but I had forgotten to only focus on what I can do at the moment.
I was allowing all my fear of things that I needed to get done in the next week or so affect how I was able to handle things at the moment. I wasn't going to be able to deal with those things until the time came. I sat on my bed messaging 2 of my best friends in our Facebook group chat that I made for us to use when we're at college. We were all encouraging each other and talking about our stress and how we felt. It was nice to know I wasn't alone, but also to receive the encouragement that they were able to give me.
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When I woke up this morning I read my devotions. Today it was on how the situations we have with family friends, or school etc. may feel like they're controlling us, but they're not. It also went on to talk about Satan trying to steal our joy, and filling our head with lies. . . How fitting.
Luke 1:21-22 "When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are safe. But when someone stronger attacks and overpowers him, he takes away the armor in which the man trusted and divides up his plunder."
One piece from the devotional said, "Scripture makes it abundantly clear that the battles we encounter in our visible, physical world coincide with a larger battle being waged in the invisible, spiritual world. Satan plots and schemes to keep our eyes fixed on the physical so we forget, or lose faith in, the power and name of the One who is our Savior and defender."
I LOVE THIS! It was a real hit in the head for me: Who wants me to be stressed out and anxious about the unfixable? Duh.
I am God's child and He wants me to enjoy life and live it to the fullest. I can't do that if I'm stressing out about other things that really shouldn't be controlling my life like that.
Some other verses included in the devotional were:
1 John 4:4 "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."
1 John 3:8a "The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work."
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God has already won all battles with Satan. I don't always want to sit in prayer and ask God to give me guidance and peace, because sometimes it can seem harder than the first choice: cry and scream about how bad life is. . . But I really should take the time to pray and dive into His Word. It may not seem worth-while in the moment, but trust me, going to God for help and comfort is always worth it.
Just remember that the next time you get hit with a dose of the devil's work. . . God is stronger, He's already won, and with God you are able to ignore what Satan is trying to make you believe about yourself...
I CAN pass this assessment if I work hard. I CAN make it through college. I CAN do this.
"I can do all things through Christ who strenthens."
-Philippians 4:13
I just got out of one of my college classes early, so I thought I'd take some time before my next class to write about something I thought of last night.
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I'm not an overly studious person when it comes to math. . . Somehow I ended up not having the correct math throughout middle school, so for about 3 years I wasn't learning what I needed to. That has resulted in me being very behind in school. By behind I mean I barely made it to Algebra 1 by the time I graduated. I may just be bad at math in general, but it could also be that I was behind in math for a long time. I enjoy the subject itself, but I have a difficult time understanding it most of the time.
I'm currently at a small community college taking some basic classes and working 2 jobs before transferring in the fall. Before I transfer I really need to get going on a math class so I have a feel for college math before attending a larger 4 year school. Sadly, I don't qualify for one of the easiest math classes, because of my grade on a assessment test I took recently. I have a score of 7, and for this class I needed a score of 30. . . That's rough! So I instead found a college prep math class that I only need a score of 14 for, so I've been working on my math preparation, trying to increase my score. Payment for spring semester is approaching fast, and I am beginning to worry that I won't be eligible for this math class and I'll be hit upside the head when I transfer.
Last night I decided to continue working on my practice problems. Everyone in my family except for my younger brother and I were gone over the weekend, so I wanted to use the quiet time to retake my assessment test (I can take it up to 5 times.) Unfortunately when I logged in I discovered I needed up to 3 hours in the practice modules before the second assessment would unlock.This frustrated me because I have been so busy lately, it's hard to find time to relax and work on other things that need to get done. Despite my frustration, I sat down and began to work on the practice math problems. I did okay. I wasn't doing horrible. I happened to learn quite a few new things. Sadly, (I swear, this has gotta be the reason I started missing so many haha) when my parents got home that afternoon, I wasn't doing so well anymore and I was even more frustrate. I was beginning to panic that I wouldn't pass my assessment tests. It doesn't help that I don't have all the time in the world, either.
All these thoughts started to enter my head: You'll never pass these tests. You're too dumb. Don't even try, you won't ever be able to do it. Drop out of college. Cry. Cry. Panic. Yell. Blame others. Dwell on the past. . .
It was an hour or so of mania in my head and body. For the first time all semester I really began to feel panic and stress. I was managing my schedule and completing homework in a timely manner, and suddenly this whole math situation blew me up into the air.
I didn't know how to react to everything. I knew that I should keep calm and simply take some time to pray about what I was feeling, but after doing that all semester Satan kept nagging me to just give in and allow my frustration to take over. . . Which is what I did for an hour or so last night. . .
From about 5:00-6:30 I was sitting in a chair in my living room listening to my favorite Disney soundtracks, and overreacting every time I missed a problem. It wasn't a good time.
By the time I went downstairs to my bedroom, I decided to go through my homework for this morning to make sure I had everything printed off and ready for my classes. I sat down to work on some things and I calmed right down. At first I was panicking because I had so much to do, but I had forgotten to only focus on what I can do at the moment.
I was allowing all my fear of things that I needed to get done in the next week or so affect how I was able to handle things at the moment. I wasn't going to be able to deal with those things until the time came. I sat on my bed messaging 2 of my best friends in our Facebook group chat that I made for us to use when we're at college. We were all encouraging each other and talking about our stress and how we felt. It was nice to know I wasn't alone, but also to receive the encouragement that they were able to give me.
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When I woke up this morning I read my devotions. Today it was on how the situations we have with family friends, or school etc. may feel like they're controlling us, but they're not. It also went on to talk about Satan trying to steal our joy, and filling our head with lies. . . How fitting.
Luke 1:21-22 "When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are safe. But when someone stronger attacks and overpowers him, he takes away the armor in which the man trusted and divides up his plunder."
One piece from the devotional said, "Scripture makes it abundantly clear that the battles we encounter in our visible, physical world coincide with a larger battle being waged in the invisible, spiritual world. Satan plots and schemes to keep our eyes fixed on the physical so we forget, or lose faith in, the power and name of the One who is our Savior and defender."
I LOVE THIS! It was a real hit in the head for me: Who wants me to be stressed out and anxious about the unfixable? Duh.
I am God's child and He wants me to enjoy life and live it to the fullest. I can't do that if I'm stressing out about other things that really shouldn't be controlling my life like that.
Some other verses included in the devotional were:
1 John 4:4 "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."
1 John 3:8a "The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work."
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God has already won all battles with Satan. I don't always want to sit in prayer and ask God to give me guidance and peace, because sometimes it can seem harder than the first choice: cry and scream about how bad life is. . . But I really should take the time to pray and dive into His Word. It may not seem worth-while in the moment, but trust me, going to God for help and comfort is always worth it.
Just remember that the next time you get hit with a dose of the devil's work. . . God is stronger, He's already won, and with God you are able to ignore what Satan is trying to make you believe about yourself...
I CAN pass this assessment if I work hard. I CAN make it through college. I CAN do this.
"I can do all things through Christ who strenthens."
-Philippians 4:13
Thursday, December 1, 2016
Finding Your Rest In Jesus
Hey all!
As I was thinking about writing a new post, I wasn't sure what to write about. I was too exhausted from my day to think anymore than I had to. So I decided to crawl into bed with my fuzzy robe and laptop to write about finding our true rest in Jesus Christ.
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I'll be honest: sometimes I learn things as I write these blogs. I don't always know what I'll be writing or I won't have even thought of something this way until I'm halfway through the post. What I'm about to write about came to mind as I logged into my laptop- no joke.
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Nothing is worse than being absolutely drained, going to bed, and waking up feeling no more awake than before bed. This happens to me more frequently than not.
What do I do to personally deal with this? Good question. I don't really know how to deal with it, but something I've learned is not to dwell on how tired you are. So straight-forward, yet so hard to do. Personally, when that happens I'm just glad that I'll fall asleep easily- something that isn't normal for me.
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Something I wanted to talk to you all about is the importance of expecting your rest to come from Jesus.
So many people think that just laying on the couch, watching a movie, napping, or surfing social media will give them their energy back. During one of my past nights of Bible Study with my guy friends, we kept bringing up how we can't ask God to change us, guide us, or use us and then do nothing to change how we listen for God's call, or actively seeking where He may want you to go.
In the same way, if you want God to give you peace, you need to do your part. I need to spend genuine time in prayer asking for refreshing rest and energy, spend quiet time dwelling on the goodness of His Word, and not focusing on the world. Really take time to refill your system with God and who He is to you! This is how you will truly find your rest. So next time you find yourself needing to ask God for a boost of His energy during a stressful time, don't ask for energy and never take the time to sit back and listen to God or keep rushing throughout the day.
Another thing I've found beneficial is doing your best to block negative thoughts about how tired or busy you are. Thank God throughout the day for your opportunities and for never leaving you to go through life alone.
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This is a little bit shorter post, but like I said, I am very tired this evening. I worked two jobs this morning and afternoon, and a tragic accident happened at the Walmart where I live today. My day has been all over the place and I am very much ready to spend some time in my devotions and crawl under my covers!
"In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus."
-Give Me Jesus by Jeremy Camp
Sarah
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Anxiety: the Not-So-Nice Bully
Hey all!
As I've probably mentioned before, or at least in my description, I struggle with depression and anxiety. For those of you who know what that's like, but no one seems to understand, I understand completely. I was a joyful child, and I grew up being known for my smile. I loved to make people laugh and I still do! Life just got the best of me for a while.
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When my anxiety first became more than just an occasional, normal thing, I wasn't even aware of what was going on. I just figured I had a lot of life changes to adjust to and it'd go away in time. Little did I know I'd become a very negative and downcast person to be around. I'd always seem to find things to complain about or stress over. I never seemed to be happy. The worst part? I still didn't realize that anything was different about me, but others did. Scary, right? I know.
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Remember that friend I talked about in a past post who called me out on being depressed and worried all the time? Yeah, they're the whole reason that I even realized this wasn't just a small thing.
While my depression was mainly circumstantial, I still allowed it to overtake my life. After receiving professional help and continuous prayers from family and friends, I've begun to gain a foothold against this bully in my life: anxiety.
What does anxiety look like for me? Having a busy day ahead of me with little to do that really sounds fun; my family or friends not getting along; having nothing to do and overthinking about how my life has no purpose. . . (Yes, this sadly does happen quite frequently to me. . .) not being able to fall asleep at night; having to go pick up a pizza from Casey's for my family; doing something out of my comfort zone or something new; when people expect too much from me. . . You name it. The list goes on and on.
Now, how have I learned to deal with my anxiety? I haven't, not completely at least. I have a mental list of things to do when I feel panic or anxiety coming on, but the same coping type doesn't always work, even for the same anxiety trigger. Some of these coping skills include coloring, listening to music (try to avoid overly sad music or break-ups songs,) talking to an encouraging friend, taking time to myself to go for a walk, or a long drive (avoid busy streets or places where you can't completely relax,) spending quiet time in prayer, reading my Bible, and maybe journaling, and sometimes doing my homework helps relieve my anxiety simply to get it out of the way.
I know some girls love to post on social media about how they always eat junk food, drink soda, and binge on ice cream when they're bored, upset, or stressed out, but that makes stress and anxiety 5x worse.
One thing, specifically, I know would relieve so much of my tendency to have anxiety attacks would be to exercise more and watch my food selections. This is one of those really important things I know and I understand, but I really struggle to apply it to my life because it requires an actual lifestyle change, motivation, and accountability. Someday I really hope to make some of these changes in my life, but I will admit that it's harder than heck to up and change something like that. It's become something I think of more often as of late, so I know I'm getting closer to really making those changes to live healthier in order to be happier. C'mon, gotta balance out the chemicals in your body somehow!
I've come to realize that speaking motivationally and encouragingly to myself builds self-esteem and relieves stress and anxiety from time to time. On occasion I find myself doing this to avoid the anxiety in general. More often than not I talk to myself when I'm alone or feeling lonely. I know it makes me sound like a freak, but I promise I'm not! It's kind of like loving who you are, and treating yourself like a best friend (and that's a good thing. . . right?)
What's one thing specifically that helps me when I start to feel anxious or depressed? I remember who the anxiety comes from. . . Up until a few moments ago I was feeling pretty good; I'm on break from college, all my homework is done, I'm writing to you guys, today has been a relaxing day. Suddenly, I went on snapchat and was looking through the recent stories my friends had added. That's when I saw a story of someone I'm not friends with anymore hanging out with one of my good friends. . . My heart sunk and I instantly felt angry, sad, overwhelmed, and my heart began to beat faster and faster. I knew what would happen if I kept looking at it, so I put my phone down and I closed my eyes. I began to pray. I focused on my breathing and tried to slow it down. Then I thought about how I'd been fine up until I saw that snapchat. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes, lemme tell ya. . . I realized that Satan wanted to steal my joy and peace away from me! Not. Cool. I've calmed down some, but my mind is still trying to think about what I just saw.
I could sit here and dwell on one of my friends "going behind my back" and hanging with someone we both know is not a good person to be with (which technically isn't even going behind my back, I'm just frustrated because I don't like the person. That's not the way I should be thinking or acting at all,) or I could remember that it's really not worth getting upset over. Tough one, right?
God wants to see His children joyful and happy. Satan wants to steal our joy and see us wallow in pain and hurt. Who do you think prompted me to go on snapchat a little bit ago? That's kinda scary when you think about it. . .
When it comes right down to it, yes I am a little hurt by my friend hanging out with this person, (mainly after they said they never would again. . .) but I need to remember who gains the glory by my actions in this situation. Is God watching His daughter glorify God and live joyfully this evening, knowing that God is greater than any circumstance I have ever dealt with? Or is Satan laughing sinisterly, believing he's won tonight as he watches me struggle to hold onto my joy?
I'm not going to lie, this specific anxiety has happened multiple times, and any other time before this I've completely lost it. I've begun to cry uncontrollably, text my friend and yell (aka text with ALL CAPS. . .) or scream at myself for things I've done wrong in the past. . .
Ok, where did that last one come from? Oh, right. . . Minor detail: when I allow myself to dwell on my anxiety and to become overcome with anger and frustration, I end up living in that moment and focusing on any and all things that I've ever messed up on or that caused me lots of pain. That's another reason you really need to be cautious when it comes to opening yourself up to grief or feel pain. Is it worth it, or will you regret your actions in a day or two? In my case, I even regret going on snapchat tonight at all (even though I check it too often to have missed the story all together anyhow,) but my point is that had I freaked out and started overreacting about the situation, I would've ruined both our evenings more than either of us deserved. I'm still alive and I managed not to message anyone, either. Shocking. *said sarcastically* I'll mention the snapchat to my friend tomorrow at church calmly, but if I were to do that now (even with a calm tone of voice) that'd be wrong for multiple reasons: a) I'm not with them in person and it's not ok to handle serious things or have important conversations over the phone/text, and b) I may think I'm calm but I still need some time to forget about it in my head and sleep. Additionally, I do not want my friend to think I'm yelling, and if I text them, they have no idea to know how I'm carrying myself or how I'm acting/sounding. Don't be the person who texts someone else a "terms and conditions" length text that's full of negative or accusing things and add a smiley face at the end. That does not make it better. . . *face palm*
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This may not seem like a serious situation to you, but to me it's something that takes me back a few months to a time of incredible pain. I won't go into details, but this person my friend is with tonight caused me great heartache a few months ago, and never seemed to realize it (regardless of me approaching them multiple times to explain,) making it hard for me to forgive them. . . Friendships are tough, but this one I have with my other friend is far too valuable to risk damaging by not having the self-control to wait and handle the situation tomorrow in person calmly and maturely.
Now that I think about it, maybe God has a sense of humor and wanted to give me a recent example to apply to this post- Ha! *secretly hopes that isn't the case*. . .
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All in all, anxiety is not something you should take lightly, but at the same time you can't allow it to control your life. Gone are the days I will blindly let anxiety lead me around like a horse and cart. It may have been different before I became aware of my anxiety and depression problem, but now that I know about it I cannot let my guard down. I'll work hard to live for Christ, and He will give me the rest I need.
"You're an overcomer! Stay in the fight till the final round. You're not going under, 'cause God is holding you right now. You might be down for the moment, feeling like it's hopeless. That's when He reminds you: You're an overcomer!"
-Overcomer by Mandisa
Thanks,
Sarah
As I've probably mentioned before, or at least in my description, I struggle with depression and anxiety. For those of you who know what that's like, but no one seems to understand, I understand completely. I was a joyful child, and I grew up being known for my smile. I loved to make people laugh and I still do! Life just got the best of me for a while.
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When my anxiety first became more than just an occasional, normal thing, I wasn't even aware of what was going on. I just figured I had a lot of life changes to adjust to and it'd go away in time. Little did I know I'd become a very negative and downcast person to be around. I'd always seem to find things to complain about or stress over. I never seemed to be happy. The worst part? I still didn't realize that anything was different about me, but others did. Scary, right? I know.
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Remember that friend I talked about in a past post who called me out on being depressed and worried all the time? Yeah, they're the whole reason that I even realized this wasn't just a small thing.
While my depression was mainly circumstantial, I still allowed it to overtake my life. After receiving professional help and continuous prayers from family and friends, I've begun to gain a foothold against this bully in my life: anxiety.
What does anxiety look like for me? Having a busy day ahead of me with little to do that really sounds fun; my family or friends not getting along; having nothing to do and overthinking about how my life has no purpose. . . (Yes, this sadly does happen quite frequently to me. . .) not being able to fall asleep at night; having to go pick up a pizza from Casey's for my family; doing something out of my comfort zone or something new; when people expect too much from me. . . You name it. The list goes on and on.
Now, how have I learned to deal with my anxiety? I haven't, not completely at least. I have a mental list of things to do when I feel panic or anxiety coming on, but the same coping type doesn't always work, even for the same anxiety trigger. Some of these coping skills include coloring, listening to music (try to avoid overly sad music or break-ups songs,) talking to an encouraging friend, taking time to myself to go for a walk, or a long drive (avoid busy streets or places where you can't completely relax,) spending quiet time in prayer, reading my Bible, and maybe journaling, and sometimes doing my homework helps relieve my anxiety simply to get it out of the way.
I know some girls love to post on social media about how they always eat junk food, drink soda, and binge on ice cream when they're bored, upset, or stressed out, but that makes stress and anxiety 5x worse.
One thing, specifically, I know would relieve so much of my tendency to have anxiety attacks would be to exercise more and watch my food selections. This is one of those really important things I know and I understand, but I really struggle to apply it to my life because it requires an actual lifestyle change, motivation, and accountability. Someday I really hope to make some of these changes in my life, but I will admit that it's harder than heck to up and change something like that. It's become something I think of more often as of late, so I know I'm getting closer to really making those changes to live healthier in order to be happier. C'mon, gotta balance out the chemicals in your body somehow!
I've come to realize that speaking motivationally and encouragingly to myself builds self-esteem and relieves stress and anxiety from time to time. On occasion I find myself doing this to avoid the anxiety in general. More often than not I talk to myself when I'm alone or feeling lonely. I know it makes me sound like a freak, but I promise I'm not! It's kind of like loving who you are, and treating yourself like a best friend (and that's a good thing. . . right?)
What's one thing specifically that helps me when I start to feel anxious or depressed? I remember who the anxiety comes from. . . Up until a few moments ago I was feeling pretty good; I'm on break from college, all my homework is done, I'm writing to you guys, today has been a relaxing day. Suddenly, I went on snapchat and was looking through the recent stories my friends had added. That's when I saw a story of someone I'm not friends with anymore hanging out with one of my good friends. . . My heart sunk and I instantly felt angry, sad, overwhelmed, and my heart began to beat faster and faster. I knew what would happen if I kept looking at it, so I put my phone down and I closed my eyes. I began to pray. I focused on my breathing and tried to slow it down. Then I thought about how I'd been fine up until I saw that snapchat. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes, lemme tell ya. . . I realized that Satan wanted to steal my joy and peace away from me! Not. Cool. I've calmed down some, but my mind is still trying to think about what I just saw.
I could sit here and dwell on one of my friends "going behind my back" and hanging with someone we both know is not a good person to be with (which technically isn't even going behind my back, I'm just frustrated because I don't like the person. That's not the way I should be thinking or acting at all,) or I could remember that it's really not worth getting upset over. Tough one, right?
God wants to see His children joyful and happy. Satan wants to steal our joy and see us wallow in pain and hurt. Who do you think prompted me to go on snapchat a little bit ago? That's kinda scary when you think about it. . .
When it comes right down to it, yes I am a little hurt by my friend hanging out with this person, (mainly after they said they never would again. . .) but I need to remember who gains the glory by my actions in this situation. Is God watching His daughter glorify God and live joyfully this evening, knowing that God is greater than any circumstance I have ever dealt with? Or is Satan laughing sinisterly, believing he's won tonight as he watches me struggle to hold onto my joy?
I'm not going to lie, this specific anxiety has happened multiple times, and any other time before this I've completely lost it. I've begun to cry uncontrollably, text my friend and yell (aka text with ALL CAPS. . .) or scream at myself for things I've done wrong in the past. . .
Ok, where did that last one come from? Oh, right. . . Minor detail: when I allow myself to dwell on my anxiety and to become overcome with anger and frustration, I end up living in that moment and focusing on any and all things that I've ever messed up on or that caused me lots of pain. That's another reason you really need to be cautious when it comes to opening yourself up to grief or feel pain. Is it worth it, or will you regret your actions in a day or two? In my case, I even regret going on snapchat tonight at all (even though I check it too often to have missed the story all together anyhow,) but my point is that had I freaked out and started overreacting about the situation, I would've ruined both our evenings more than either of us deserved. I'm still alive and I managed not to message anyone, either. Shocking. *said sarcastically* I'll mention the snapchat to my friend tomorrow at church calmly, but if I were to do that now (even with a calm tone of voice) that'd be wrong for multiple reasons: a) I'm not with them in person and it's not ok to handle serious things or have important conversations over the phone/text, and b) I may think I'm calm but I still need some time to forget about it in my head and sleep. Additionally, I do not want my friend to think I'm yelling, and if I text them, they have no idea to know how I'm carrying myself or how I'm acting/sounding. Don't be the person who texts someone else a "terms and conditions" length text that's full of negative or accusing things and add a smiley face at the end. That does not make it better. . . *face palm*
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This may not seem like a serious situation to you, but to me it's something that takes me back a few months to a time of incredible pain. I won't go into details, but this person my friend is with tonight caused me great heartache a few months ago, and never seemed to realize it (regardless of me approaching them multiple times to explain,) making it hard for me to forgive them. . . Friendships are tough, but this one I have with my other friend is far too valuable to risk damaging by not having the self-control to wait and handle the situation tomorrow in person calmly and maturely.
Now that I think about it, maybe God has a sense of humor and wanted to give me a recent example to apply to this post- Ha! *secretly hopes that isn't the case*. . .
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All in all, anxiety is not something you should take lightly, but at the same time you can't allow it to control your life. Gone are the days I will blindly let anxiety lead me around like a horse and cart. It may have been different before I became aware of my anxiety and depression problem, but now that I know about it I cannot let my guard down. I'll work hard to live for Christ, and He will give me the rest I need.
"You're an overcomer! Stay in the fight till the final round. You're not going under, 'cause God is holding you right now. You might be down for the moment, feeling like it's hopeless. That's when He reminds you: You're an overcomer!"
-Overcomer by Mandisa
Thanks,
Sarah
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Emotions Show Strength
Welcome back!
Today I wanted to talk to you about the picture I have posted on the side of my blog. . .
"Be Kind, For Everyone You Meet Is Fighting A Hard Battle.
I found this picture while browsing Pinterest one afternoon. At the time I found it I had been struggling with depression, and the words made sense to me.
Most of my life I have been a relatively strong person, and when I felt weak I always wanted to keep it to myself. I have an older brother who I looked up to as my hero; he always told me that if I cried I was a baby or I was weak. At my age you believed that, so I made sure not to cry around others and to keep my problems away from people.
This was not a good thing to learn. In friendships I began to struggle with showing major excitement or sympathy on occasion when something upsetting happened to one of my friends. Something I was called out for once was how I never acted super excited when I'd finally get to see one of my best friends after a few weeks. . . The day I was called out for that I really realized how hiding my negative emotions had affected my overall expression of anything.
When I was in the deepest valley of my depression I never wanted to talk about how I felt. The difficult part was when my closest friends knew something was bothering me, but I wouldn't talk about it or talk to them about the pain. It was as if I expected them to know exactly how to help me feel better or to read my mind. At the time I didn't realize it, but that was completely accurate. If there was one thing I could tell myself when I was at that point in my life, it would be that showing my emotions is really showing my strength. It takes incredible courage to open up to someone else on the deep struggles you deal with. I wish I had known that earlier. . .
If there was one thing I wanted to leave you with from this post, it's that you should never feel weak or say you're sorry for admitting you're not ok. People may tell you that you should keep sadness or anger to yourself, and while anger does not always need to be expressed, sadness definitely has a place within life to be expressed. Ignoring a certain level of sadness is like ignoring a fire outside your house. . . You convince yourself you don't need to tell anyone, and the fire burns down your house. . . That may sound extreme, but I am sure that hiding my emotions for so long damaged me severely. I still struggle with expressing sadness or happiness with even my closest friends. Oftentimes it's fake happiness because I've forgotten how to really be happy. . . Honestly, after years of unconsciously hiding all my feelings from everyone, it became second nature to me and I began to feel something much worse inside: shame and depression. This is not something that anyone should experience. . .
I finally began to open up to my parents about how I'd been feeling, and my friends worried about my intensely. Something most people don't even know is that suicide would enter my mind frequently. . . Even though I was too scared to go through with it, it was even more scary that these were real thoughts I had about ending my life. . .
I do not blame hiding my emotions alone on my depression, but I do know that learning to hide my emotions so well played a big part in why it took so long for me to even notice I was depressed or to get help. It was normal for me to not feel. . . That's hard to think about. . .
I want to let you know that whatever you're feeling, whatever you're scared of admitting, and whatever lies you're allowing yourself to believe, you need to talk to someone you trust. . . You need to ask some friends to pray for you. . . You can even comment below your email, or ask me for mine specifically and I would love to pray with and for you! I dread the idea that anyone has to deal with much greater versions of what I suffer from now. . .
After my best friend told me how worried my behavior and thoughts of suicide made them, they finally convinced me to attend counseling. . . He may have saved my life. God brought him into my life to help change my life. I am incredibly thankful for him. Never take friends for granted, especially those who are honest with you even when it's hard. . .
My mom and I contacted a new christian counselor in the area, and I set up an appointment. . . She became an amazing friend and someone I looked up to and trusted. . . She helped me to understand the importance of feeling and expressing emotions, not overreacting to difficult situations, handling anxiety and stress, where my depression was coming from, and keeping my focus on God at all times. . . She influenced me so much that God used her to show me where He wanted me to take my life.
For months I'd been ignoring His messages about becoming a Christian counselor. When I attended counseling, within 2 visits I knew there was a reason God had me there.
I believe 100% that I suffer from depression and experienced all the pain that I have so that I could share my experiences here on my blog, with the people I meet, on my youtube channel, on social media with my posts, and someday as a christian counselor. I have a heart for young girls and young women, and I want to guide them through situations similar to mine by refocusing their attention to the Father in Heaven.
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So why does this picture mean so much to me? Because now I understand the importance of expressing kindness to everyone I meet. They may be crying out inside for someone- anyone- to smile at them or give them a compliment. They may be contemplating suicide when they get home, and my simple "hi, I like your scarf!" may be just the phrase they need to hear. . .
Remember that the people around us will know we are disciples of Christ by the way we love one another. . . This is something I need to work on every day, but it is so incredibly important!
Love one another, friends. Love God. Love yourself. Love others.
Love does crazy things. I believe love can change the world.
"Let my life be the proof, the proof of your love..."
-Proof of Your Love by For King and Country
Thanks,
Sarah
Monday, November 21, 2016
Through It All... It Is Well
Welcome back!
As I mentioned in my first post, I want to be real on this blog. Even if no one really reads these posts, I still feel like I'm talking to someone and if even one person understands or can take something away from my experiences, then it was worth sharing.
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I work at a grocery store, and normally I get along with and love my coworkers a lot. Tonight, although, was a rough night for me. For some reason I was picked on and messed with more than usual. . . I'm normally a very laid-back person, and I am easy to mess with because of my personality. I typically joke back or laugh at the jokes.
Tonight, however, the words my coworkers were saying really hurt and offended me. . . Lately some of the guys have been suggesting that I'm someone who does certain things I do not think are appropriate. . . That by itself upsets me and makes me feel uncomfortable, but when more people start assuming the same things, my head begins to spin and my heart sinks a bit.
Where are they getting these assumptions?
I am a very reserved and conservative person when it comes to "partying," (i.e. eating too much sugar with a girlfriend during a Disney movie. . .) and not knowing much at all about drugs, smoking etc. I've just never seen a need or had the desire to get involved with any of those things. I also have no desire to get involved inappropriately with guys, a) because of what I believe morally and b) because the Bible states clearly these things are looked down upon by God. Obviously my coworkers will not all see my point of view, and sometimes that makes the situation harder.
*said sarcastically* "Why aren't you laughing, Sarah? Aww, did we hurt your feelings? Hey don't you go to church or whatever? Why?"
That may be overdoing it a tad bit, and I can't always remember what they say because I try to tune it out, but that gives you a bit of a taste of what my night was like. . . I understand that guys can be a little rude and mean unintentionally when they flirt, which some of them were very clearly doing, but that didn't make me feel good either. . .
After my work shift was over I left the store and went to my car. Sitting in the driver's seat in silence for a moment before putting the key in the ignition, I just thought to myself, "Why do people pick on me?" I was just thankful to be alone and not have to deal with the constant swearing. I turned on my car and began to drive to Bible Study to meet with my closest friends.
When I finally arrived at Bible Study, one of the guys asked us each how we were doing (wanting honest answers relating to spiritually and emotionally,) and when it came to me I answered honestly with what was on my heart and said tonight had been a bad night. I was picked on and judged. I dealt with crude comments and suffered a kick in my self-confidence.
I've been blessed with great friends. They talked to me about ignoring what people say, and said they were sorry I had to deal with that. . .
When we had finished an amazing night of Bible Study (we're going through the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan- GREAT book! Read it if you haven't already! This is our second time!!!) I walked with my friends outside and we all drove our separate ways.
Me being me, I obviously had a small overload of anxiety and stress as I drove away. Being alone and having no one but my thoughts is dangerous most of the time. . . I may have shed some tears, but that was a natural way for me to react to being hurt by people I thought were my friends. . .
After I had calmed down and was able to think rationally about the situation, I had a chance for my mind to refocus on the one friend who will never let me down. You know who I'm talking about. The one who never leaves me; the one who never lies or hurts me; the one who always protects and loves me. My best friend, Jesus.
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I woke up this morning, a little overwhelmed to have such a busy day: college classes until lunch, an hour break to change clothes and grab some lunch, then head to work for 5 1/2 hours. The best part of my long Mondays is always gathering with my best friends to talk about God at the very end, no joke. I look forward to our Bible Study all week. Those moments uplift me and leave me feeling refreshed.
The one way I know to deal with waking up stressed or worried about the day is to stop and pray for a good day before doing anything else. After that I open up my phone to an app I've been loving! It's called "First5" and it's a Bible Study app geared towards young women and adults. It has a setting where you can create an alarm for the morning, and as soon as you shut off the alarm it takes you to your daily devotional to read for the day. The main point of the app is to help you spend your first 5 minutes of the day with God. Before you can get into your phone to check social media or look at notifications, you're already on the Bible app. I love this. It's perfect for me.
You can assume that these 2 things helped refocus my mind towards what mattered for the day. I was ready to face my busy schedule with God by my side.
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The more I thought about my difficult night at work, the more I began to realize that was the devil trying to ruin my good day and shift my focus away from God, (right before my Bible Study too- how convenient. . .) Having gained a new perspective and understanding of why this may have happened allowed me to climb out of my bucket of self-pity. Although, I was still curious as to where some of my coworkers got the assumptions they did about me. But who am I to wonder how the devil gets to those he messes with. . .? I've decided to try and relieve my mind from these unnecessary thoughts. (I said "try", never said it'd be easy or successful. . .)
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Why did I share this lengthy and semi-confusing (and maybe seemingly insignificant) post you may ask? I don't believe I'm the only one who finds themselves in sticky and painful situations from time to time, or maybe more frequently. I decided to share my insights on the topic with you.
1) First, when someone starts to talk about you negatively or spread untrue things around about you, pray about it and try not to overreact or allow stress to enter into your head. Do your best to stay calm; honestly, most people try to hurt us because they want to see how it will affects us, allowing for our pain to "lift them up". . . It's a messy situation, but it happens. Allow God to carry you. Rely on Him to guide you in your response.
2) Don't rush into defending yourself. Oftentimes when we react in the moment we are not our best selves. Just as we are to prepare our hearts for worship before entering into church on Sunday, I feel as though we should take time to asses the situation and gain control of our thoughts before approaching someone about a situation such as these. I know it's hard not to immediately throw some clever comeback at whoever is spreading things about you, but in a few hours (or even minutes) there is a great chance you'll regret saying those things at all. . .
3) Don't dwell on what they're saying about you. This is a big one! I know I personally struggle with this, more than I wish I did. Just like how we can't believe everything we hear about other people within a gossip circle, don't immediately assume that, just because someone is saying something about you makes it true or bad either. These people may be hurting and they're looking for a way to let it out, or maybe they only meant to be funny but it took a wrong turn. . . You can't always know for sure.
I've seen it before where someone was criticized for something they did, but the criticizer used a trait of their's that wasn't even negative. . . But as soon as this person was called out for it, they decided in their head that it must not be a good thing. . .
I'm a talk-a-holic (as displayed in this post.) Any of my friends will tell you I have a love for talking. I love to have conversations with people, and when I get excited or passionate about what I'm saying, I start to talk with my hands. (You chatty people know what I'm talking about!) I've been called out for my fast talking before as well as how much I talk. I wouldn't say these things are defined as negative, they're just who I am. They're part of what makes me Sarah. Sadly, though, after just a few times of being called out for it, I registered my talking as a bad thing. . . I began to do my best not to talk very much, and after a while I even started to just sit glum in a group for fear of being called out on something that made me who I am. I wasn't being my true self; I was allowing the thoughts of others to define who I should be.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is don't always let what a bully or gossiper says about you dwell in your head very long. You know who you are, and if you like who you are, then others should accept you for who you are too! Who cares what those other people think; they probably don't even know you very well to begin with.
Stay confident in who you are in Christ and remember to pray for strength and wisdom before, in, and after those situations arise. You'd be surprised to find that you don't feel so overwhelmed or stressed out when they happen- sometimes, when I've been praying in advance for a day I already know might take a toll on me, when I'm crawling into bed I realize that everything was totally fine!
God is always with us, and not for a moment will He ever take His eyes off of us. That's one of the best things, I think, about God. . . Isn't He so great?! We're so blessed. . .
I hope you taken something away from my long blabbering post! I just had so many thoughts I wanted to share with my readers tonight!
God bless,
"This, this is for all the girls, boys all over the world. . . Whatever you've been told. . . You're worth MORE than GOLD!"
-Gold by Britt Nicole
Sarah
As I mentioned in my first post, I want to be real on this blog. Even if no one really reads these posts, I still feel like I'm talking to someone and if even one person understands or can take something away from my experiences, then it was worth sharing.
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I work at a grocery store, and normally I get along with and love my coworkers a lot. Tonight, although, was a rough night for me. For some reason I was picked on and messed with more than usual. . . I'm normally a very laid-back person, and I am easy to mess with because of my personality. I typically joke back or laugh at the jokes.
Tonight, however, the words my coworkers were saying really hurt and offended me. . . Lately some of the guys have been suggesting that I'm someone who does certain things I do not think are appropriate. . . That by itself upsets me and makes me feel uncomfortable, but when more people start assuming the same things, my head begins to spin and my heart sinks a bit.
Where are they getting these assumptions?
I am a very reserved and conservative person when it comes to "partying," (i.e. eating too much sugar with a girlfriend during a Disney movie. . .) and not knowing much at all about drugs, smoking etc. I've just never seen a need or had the desire to get involved with any of those things. I also have no desire to get involved inappropriately with guys, a) because of what I believe morally and b) because the Bible states clearly these things are looked down upon by God. Obviously my coworkers will not all see my point of view, and sometimes that makes the situation harder.
*said sarcastically* "Why aren't you laughing, Sarah? Aww, did we hurt your feelings? Hey don't you go to church or whatever? Why?"
That may be overdoing it a tad bit, and I can't always remember what they say because I try to tune it out, but that gives you a bit of a taste of what my night was like. . . I understand that guys can be a little rude and mean unintentionally when they flirt, which some of them were very clearly doing, but that didn't make me feel good either. . .
After my work shift was over I left the store and went to my car. Sitting in the driver's seat in silence for a moment before putting the key in the ignition, I just thought to myself, "Why do people pick on me?" I was just thankful to be alone and not have to deal with the constant swearing. I turned on my car and began to drive to Bible Study to meet with my closest friends.
When I finally arrived at Bible Study, one of the guys asked us each how we were doing (wanting honest answers relating to spiritually and emotionally,) and when it came to me I answered honestly with what was on my heart and said tonight had been a bad night. I was picked on and judged. I dealt with crude comments and suffered a kick in my self-confidence.
I've been blessed with great friends. They talked to me about ignoring what people say, and said they were sorry I had to deal with that. . .
When we had finished an amazing night of Bible Study (we're going through the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan- GREAT book! Read it if you haven't already! This is our second time!!!) I walked with my friends outside and we all drove our separate ways.
Me being me, I obviously had a small overload of anxiety and stress as I drove away. Being alone and having no one but my thoughts is dangerous most of the time. . . I may have shed some tears, but that was a natural way for me to react to being hurt by people I thought were my friends. . .
After I had calmed down and was able to think rationally about the situation, I had a chance for my mind to refocus on the one friend who will never let me down. You know who I'm talking about. The one who never leaves me; the one who never lies or hurts me; the one who always protects and loves me. My best friend, Jesus.
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I woke up this morning, a little overwhelmed to have such a busy day: college classes until lunch, an hour break to change clothes and grab some lunch, then head to work for 5 1/2 hours. The best part of my long Mondays is always gathering with my best friends to talk about God at the very end, no joke. I look forward to our Bible Study all week. Those moments uplift me and leave me feeling refreshed.
The one way I know to deal with waking up stressed or worried about the day is to stop and pray for a good day before doing anything else. After that I open up my phone to an app I've been loving! It's called "First5" and it's a Bible Study app geared towards young women and adults. It has a setting where you can create an alarm for the morning, and as soon as you shut off the alarm it takes you to your daily devotional to read for the day. The main point of the app is to help you spend your first 5 minutes of the day with God. Before you can get into your phone to check social media or look at notifications, you're already on the Bible app. I love this. It's perfect for me.
You can assume that these 2 things helped refocus my mind towards what mattered for the day. I was ready to face my busy schedule with God by my side.
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The more I thought about my difficult night at work, the more I began to realize that was the devil trying to ruin my good day and shift my focus away from God, (right before my Bible Study too- how convenient. . .) Having gained a new perspective and understanding of why this may have happened allowed me to climb out of my bucket of self-pity. Although, I was still curious as to where some of my coworkers got the assumptions they did about me. But who am I to wonder how the devil gets to those he messes with. . .? I've decided to try and relieve my mind from these unnecessary thoughts. (I said "try", never said it'd be easy or successful. . .)
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-
Why did I share this lengthy and semi-confusing (and maybe seemingly insignificant) post you may ask? I don't believe I'm the only one who finds themselves in sticky and painful situations from time to time, or maybe more frequently. I decided to share my insights on the topic with you.
1) First, when someone starts to talk about you negatively or spread untrue things around about you, pray about it and try not to overreact or allow stress to enter into your head. Do your best to stay calm; honestly, most people try to hurt us because they want to see how it will affects us, allowing for our pain to "lift them up". . . It's a messy situation, but it happens. Allow God to carry you. Rely on Him to guide you in your response.
2) Don't rush into defending yourself. Oftentimes when we react in the moment we are not our best selves. Just as we are to prepare our hearts for worship before entering into church on Sunday, I feel as though we should take time to asses the situation and gain control of our thoughts before approaching someone about a situation such as these. I know it's hard not to immediately throw some clever comeback at whoever is spreading things about you, but in a few hours (or even minutes) there is a great chance you'll regret saying those things at all. . .
3) Don't dwell on what they're saying about you. This is a big one! I know I personally struggle with this, more than I wish I did. Just like how we can't believe everything we hear about other people within a gossip circle, don't immediately assume that, just because someone is saying something about you makes it true or bad either. These people may be hurting and they're looking for a way to let it out, or maybe they only meant to be funny but it took a wrong turn. . . You can't always know for sure.
I've seen it before where someone was criticized for something they did, but the criticizer used a trait of their's that wasn't even negative. . . But as soon as this person was called out for it, they decided in their head that it must not be a good thing. . .
I'm a talk-a-holic (as displayed in this post.) Any of my friends will tell you I have a love for talking. I love to have conversations with people, and when I get excited or passionate about what I'm saying, I start to talk with my hands. (You chatty people know what I'm talking about!) I've been called out for my fast talking before as well as how much I talk. I wouldn't say these things are defined as negative, they're just who I am. They're part of what makes me Sarah. Sadly, though, after just a few times of being called out for it, I registered my talking as a bad thing. . . I began to do my best not to talk very much, and after a while I even started to just sit glum in a group for fear of being called out on something that made me who I am. I wasn't being my true self; I was allowing the thoughts of others to define who I should be.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is don't always let what a bully or gossiper says about you dwell in your head very long. You know who you are, and if you like who you are, then others should accept you for who you are too! Who cares what those other people think; they probably don't even know you very well to begin with.
Stay confident in who you are in Christ and remember to pray for strength and wisdom before, in, and after those situations arise. You'd be surprised to find that you don't feel so overwhelmed or stressed out when they happen- sometimes, when I've been praying in advance for a day I already know might take a toll on me, when I'm crawling into bed I realize that everything was totally fine!
God is always with us, and not for a moment will He ever take His eyes off of us. That's one of the best things, I think, about God. . . Isn't He so great?! We're so blessed. . .
I hope you taken something away from my long blabbering post! I just had so many thoughts I wanted to share with my readers tonight!
God bless,
"This, this is for all the girls, boys all over the world. . . Whatever you've been told. . . You're worth MORE than GOLD!"
-Gold by Britt Nicole
Sarah
Saturday, November 19, 2016
The Right Song At The Right Time
Welcome back!
I love to write encouraging and deep posts on my FaceBook and Instagram pages. I'm not even sure why. Do I just talk too much and this is how I can share my thoughts when no one is around? Not sure, I just love to write them so I do!
This past Summer I found the number of these posts increasing and I noticed that people really absorbed what I had to say and appreciated them. Whenever I was in the middle of a lengthy Instagram post I kept saying to myself,
"Now, Sarah, why don't you just start a blog and you can write however much gibberish that you want to?"
This was a reoccurring question I kept asking myself, especially when I'd sit and dwell on how I could reach more people with what I had to say. As it turns out, this is one of the main reasons I finally sat down and began this blog. I had put it off because of fear, and not believing I could do this. But I know better than to try and run away from what God wants me to do. . .
I wrote one of my lengthy Instagram posts right after I had returned from the Challenge Conference in Louisville, Kentucky this past Summer. I was at the conference during the 4th of July and I had originally planned to post a breathtaking video of the sunset across the lake as I drove over a long bridge at night, but with everything that happened while I was there I ended up forgetting until a week later. I wanted to share my thoughts on thankfulness and a load of other deep thoughts I had at the time.
I wanted to remind my followers that even on days besides Independence Day we need to remember to be thankful. Not just thankful for the freedom to pray publicly, but thankful for everything we've been given as humans that we will never deserve, no matter what we do or say.
I wanted to remind everyone that, "YOU. ARE. CHOSEN." Jesus Christ did not just die a brutal death for nothing; Jesus Christ died on the cross so every single person individually could have the chance to experience eternal life with Him. Even then He knew exactly who He gave His life up for. . .
The night I captured the video I was out for a long drive alone, listening to music and asking God, "WHY?!" Why was He giving me so much to deal with and taking things that I loved away from me? Maybe someday I'll go more into detail about everything that was going on with me, but for now I'm still working through all these crazy life changes and painful experiences with God. . . My iPod was on shuffle mode, and it was one of those "right song at the right moment" deals where as soon as I looked up at the sunset God selected a certain song to play through my car radio and it touched my heart. . . It was like God was singing it to me Himself. . . (Except it was a girl singing. . . *insert subtle cough* but that's beside the point!)
I had taken the video of the sunset with the song playing in the background as a reminder that God uses our weakest moments to reveal the largest chunks of truth to us. . .
God gives His toughest battles to His strongest soldiers and He removes things from our lives to give us something even better. Nothing is too difficult or too small for God to do! He always comes through, and He always has something better in mind for us than we do. . .
The video of the lake reminds me that sometimes, when our lives are full of crashing waves and water splashing up into your face, Jesus is looking at the overall picture and thinking, "This is going to be beautiful. . ."
We are the same when it comes to admiring the crashing waves of the lake. Before we know it, the waters will be quiet again and all will be well. . .
I encourage all of you, no matter where you in in your walk with God, (or even if you don't personally have one,) never wait until the storm to dive deep into the Word of God and soak in His truth! Absorb His love and faithfulness. . .
I hope whenever you see a lake or the ocean you remember to be thankful. . . Be thankful for the freedom to pray, the unconditional love God has for all of His children, and the trials of this life that shape us into better people. . .
My God is good all the time, and all the time He is good! 💕
Thanks for reading,
"We are the light of the world, and we gotta, we gotta, we gotta let the light shine!"
-We Are by Kari Jobe
Sarah
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