Through It All... It Is Well

Welcome back!

     As I mentioned in my first post, I want to be real on this blog. Even if no one really reads these posts, I still feel like I'm talking to someone and if even one person understands or can take something away from my experiences, then it was worth sharing.
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     I work at a grocery store, and normally I get along with and love my coworkers a lot. Tonight, although, was a rough night for me. For some reason I was picked on and messed with more than usual. . . I'm normally a very laid-back person, and I am easy to mess with because of my personality. I typically joke back or laugh at the jokes.
     Tonight, however, the words my coworkers were saying really hurt and offended me. . . Lately some of the guys have been suggesting that I'm someone who does certain things I do not think are appropriate. . . That by itself upsets me and makes me feel uncomfortable, but when more people start assuming the same things, my head begins to spin and my heart sinks a bit.
     Where are they getting these assumptions?
     I am a very reserved and conservative person when it comes to "partying," (i.e. eating too much sugar with a girlfriend during a Disney movie. . .) and not knowing much at all about drugs, smoking etc. I've just never seen a need or had the desire to get involved with any of those things. I also have no desire to get involved inappropriately with guys, a) because of what I believe morally and b) because the Bible states clearly these things are looked down upon by God. Obviously my coworkers will not all see my point of view, and sometimes that makes the situation harder.
     *said sarcastically* "Why aren't you laughing, Sarah? Aww, did we hurt your feelings? Hey don't you go to church or whatever? Why?"
     That may be overdoing it a tad bit, and I can't always remember what they say because I try to tune it out, but that gives you a bit of a taste of what my night was like. . . I understand that guys can be a little rude and mean unintentionally when they flirt, which some of them were very clearly doing, but that didn't make me feel good either. . .
     After my work shift was over I left the store and went to my car. Sitting in the driver's seat in silence for a moment before putting the key in the ignition, I just thought to myself, "Why do people pick on me?" I was just thankful to be alone and not have to deal with the constant swearing. I turned on my car and began to drive to Bible Study to meet with my closest friends.
     When I finally arrived at Bible Study, one of the guys asked us each how we were doing (wanting honest answers relating to spiritually and emotionally,) and when it came to me I answered honestly with what was on my heart and said tonight had been a bad night. I was picked on and judged. I dealt with crude comments and suffered a kick in my self-confidence.
     I've been blessed with great friends. They talked to me about ignoring what people say, and said they were sorry I had to deal with that. . .
     When we had finished an amazing night of Bible Study (we're going through the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan- GREAT book! Read it if you haven't already! This is our second time!!!) I walked with my friends outside and we all drove our separate ways.
   Me being me, I obviously had a small overload of anxiety and stress as I drove away. Being alone and having no one but my thoughts is dangerous most of the time. . . I may have shed some tears, but that was a natural way for me to react to being hurt by people I thought were my friends. . .
     After I had calmed down and was able to think rationally about the situation, I had a chance for my mind to refocus on the one friend who will never let me down. You know who I'm talking about. The one who never leaves me; the one who never lies or hurts me; the one who always protects and loves me. My best friend, Jesus.
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     I woke up this morning, a little overwhelmed to have such a busy day: college classes until lunch, an hour break to change clothes and grab some lunch, then head to work for 5 1/2 hours. The best part of my long Mondays is always gathering with my best friends to talk about God at the very end, no joke. I look forward to our Bible Study all week. Those moments uplift me and leave me feeling refreshed.
     The one way I know to deal with waking up stressed or worried about the day is to stop and pray for a good day before doing anything else. After that I open up my phone to an app I've been loving! It's called "First5" and it's a Bible Study app geared towards young women and adults. It has a setting where you can create an alarm for the morning, and as soon as you shut off the alarm it takes you to your daily devotional to read for the day. The main point of the app is to help you spend your first 5 minutes of the day with God. Before you can get into your phone to check social media or look at notifications, you're already on the Bible app. I love this. It's perfect for me.
     You can assume that these 2 things helped refocus my mind towards what mattered for the day. I was ready to face my busy schedule with God by my side.
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     The more I thought about my difficult night at work, the more I began to realize that was the devil trying to ruin my good day and shift my focus away from God, (right before my Bible Study too- how convenient. . .) Having gained a new perspective and understanding of why this may have happened allowed me to climb out of my bucket of self-pity. Although, I was still curious as to where some of my coworkers got the assumptions they did about me. But who am I to wonder how the devil gets to those he messes with. . .? I've decided to try and relieve my mind from these unnecessary thoughts. (I said "try", never said it'd be easy or successful. . .)
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     Why did I share this lengthy and semi-confusing (and maybe seemingly insignificant) post you may ask? I don't believe I'm the only one who finds themselves in sticky and painful situations from time to time, or maybe more frequently. I decided to share my insights on the topic with you.
     1) First, when someone starts to talk about you negatively or spread untrue things around about you, pray about it and try not to overreact or allow stress to enter into your head. Do your best to stay calm; honestly, most people try to hurt us because they want to see how it will affects us, allowing for our pain to "lift them up". . . It's a messy situation, but it happens. Allow God to carry you. Rely on Him to guide you in your response.
     2) Don't rush into defending yourself. Oftentimes when we react in the moment we are not our best selves. Just as we are to prepare our hearts for worship before entering into church on Sunday, I feel as though we should take time to asses the situation and gain control of our thoughts before approaching someone about a situation such as these. I know it's hard not to immediately throw some clever comeback at whoever is spreading things about you, but in a few hours (or even minutes) there is a great chance you'll regret saying those things at all. . .
     3) Don't dwell on what they're saying about you. This is a big one! I know I personally struggle with this, more than I wish I did. Just like how we can't believe everything we hear about other people within a gossip circle, don't immediately assume that, just because someone is saying something about you makes it true or bad either. These people may be hurting and they're looking for a way to let it out, or maybe they only meant to be funny but it took a wrong turn. . . You can't always know for sure.
     I've seen it before where someone was criticized for something they did, but the criticizer used a trait of their's that wasn't even negative. . . But as soon as this person was called out for it, they decided in their head that it must not be a good thing. . .
     I'm a talk-a-holic (as displayed in this post.) Any of my friends will tell you I have a love for talking. I love to have conversations with people, and when I get excited or passionate about what I'm saying, I start to talk with my hands. (You chatty people know what I'm talking about!) I've been called out for my fast talking before as well as how much I talk. I wouldn't say these things are defined as negative, they're just who I am. They're part of what makes me Sarah. Sadly, though, after just a few times of being called out for it, I registered my talking as a bad thing. . . I began to do my best not to talk very much, and after a while I even started to just sit glum in a group for fear of being called out on something that made me who I am. I wasn't being my true self; I was allowing the thoughts of others to define who I should be.
     I guess what I'm trying to say here is don't always let what a bully or gossiper says about you dwell in your head very long. You know who you are, and if you like who you are, then others should accept you for who you are too! Who cares what those other people think; they probably don't even know you very well to begin with.
     Stay confident in who you are in Christ and remember to pray for strength and wisdom before, in, and after those situations arise. You'd be surprised to find that you don't feel so overwhelmed or stressed out when they happen- sometimes, when I've been praying in advance for a day I already know might take a toll on me, when I'm crawling into bed I realize that everything was totally fine!
     God is always with us, and not for a moment will He ever take His eyes off of us. That's one of the best things, I think, about God. . . Isn't He so great?! We're so blessed. . .

     I hope you taken something away from my long blabbering post! I just had so many thoughts I wanted to share with my readers tonight!

     God bless,

     "This, this is for all the girls, boys all over the world. . . Whatever you've been told. . . You're worth MORE than GOLD!"
-Gold by Britt Nicole

     Sarah